Audiophiles across the world rejoiced at this year's Consumer Electronics Show in dirty-town Las Vegas. Apparently, 2004 is the year for the audio industry to make its mark on your bank accounts with groundbreaking mobile electronics and all things collar poppin'. To us, however, it's just the year of the monkey, which means that we need to stop following the Chinese calendar and make due with the Roman one. And once that happens, we'll soon realize how old we're getting and how fast our hearing is deteriorating (What?-JN), which, by the way, is all owed to this whole CES thing. We guess it's all refundable since the show houses the likes of Jenna Jameson, Leanne Rimes, Maxim calendar sweeties, '80s pop icons like The Bangles, and sweet import models. It's not like our vehicle's audio system affects our vision anyway, right? Besides, this year's CES was a definite exception to our usual stance of tradeshow repulsion. Everything except the marathon walk throughout the Las Vegas Convention Center was better than last year's, including the guy-to-girl ratio. So come take a pictorial tour with us and experience CES from the comfort of your own toilet seat, couch, bed, or jail cell. And check out the new products from your favorite audio company.
This Ain't Your Baby Momma:It's a rather arduous task taking pictures of women, when: 1) You're drooling, 2) You're flexing the little muscle you have, and 3) You're making sure you're all zipped up and don't have any boogers hanging out your nose.
Whip It Good:One can't attend CES and not check out the cars. You can skip the food, the ponytailed exhibitors, and annoying salespeople, but you cannot pass over the whips.
It'll Make Your Ears Bleed:This year's innovative products are most deaf, er, definitely the best in years past. It'll not only make you throw your hands in the air, but it'll also have the ladies calling you "Big Poppa."
Visit the SEMA enthusiast Web site: www.enjoythedrive.com
Alpine's Mini Cooper: Even we can appreciate it.
Alpine IVA-D300:Simply amazing! Alpine's IVA-D300 blew our minds away with its PulseTouch technology that uses vibrations, pressure, and sound to simulate the sensation of using real buttons on a touch screen. This product was so badass that it won the "Best of CES" Award in the automotive category from TechTV. You need to get one now.Hookup: 800/421-2284; www.alpine-usa.com\
Alphasonik PEX3B:Alphasonik's powerful PEX3B three-way crossover with parametric bass equalizer controls allows you to manhandle your system with no regrets. This is all you need to control the power of your ampliphers.Hookup: www.alphasonik.com
Audiobahn A3351:Audiobahn's classy head unit boasts a CD-R/RW playback, CD text, three-beam pickup, and CD changer control. Its display consists of VFT Vacuum Fluorescent Tube with a motorized slide-down front panel.Hookup: 714/988-0400; www.audiobahninc.com
Blaupunkt Chicago IVDM-7002:Blaupunkt's IVDM-7002 features an all-in-one in-dash flip-out 7-inch LCD video monitor, DVD/CD/MP3 player, and five amplifier channels. This powerful unit is an instant classic that only the audio geniuses at Blaupunkt could produce.Hookup: www.blaupunktusa.com
Clarion DXZ845MC:Imagine digitally recording up to six CDs in your car's head unit and playing them all with the touch of a button. Well, imagine no more because Clarion's DXZ845MC with Music Catcher technology allows you to conveniently play up to 80 tracks-digitally.Hookup: www.clarion.com