I would also like to personally thank Mr. and Mrs. Barton for delivering upon this earth their darling little girls, Jennifer and Jessica. The Barton twins are truly a work of art. If they came with drink holders our lives would be complete. Jessica's daily driver is a 500hp, 11-second Supra, while Jennifer rolls in an Integra Type R. Not only do these girls model, they're also-shudder-twins. They served as our official trophy presenters throughout the show while we tried unsuccessfully to convince them that editors do make better lovers. Hey, my T-shirt wouldn't lie!
I really have to work on my joystick control. I got spanked at the PlayStation 2 Gaming Zone, which allowed gamers free plays of GT4 Prologue. At the XMODS Stop. Drop. Race! Tour I was unceremoniously bitch-slapped by some 11-year-old in a Girl Scout outfit. All right, Heather, we'll see if I buy any cookies from you next year. Oh, who am I kidding; I'm a sucker for those Tagalongs and Do-si-dos.
After the sun went down, we put on our traditional poolside concerts on Friday and Saturday nights. This year we did the Humpty Dance with Digital Underground and the robot with Fabolous. I pulled out all the stops on the dance floor at Club 600 North, but for some unknown reason my interpretive dance routine set to Abba's "Dancing Queen" just didn't pull the ladies.
My only crowning glory was when I schooled drag race diva Christian Rado on the pool table. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything; it just makes me feel like a big man to tell this to all of you. My other non sequitur involves Eddie Lee of Mackin Industries. Eddie launched into the most intriguing discourse on the parallels between the people of Taiwanese descent and the practices of the Toys "R" Us corporation. What a great trip! I learned about Ricky's rich cultural heritage and our blonde bombshell Jonny made some new friends-from Ohio of all places. I can't wait to get Tuner Bashed again next year.-Old Man Naderi
Jonny???
The smell of Daytona Beach during spring break is unforgettable. Unlike most beach cities, where the air fills with an overpowering scent of the ocean, spring break Daytona reeks of filth, pizza, alcohol, and puke, especially in the stairwells and corridors of any hotel hallway. The thought of it makes me cringe; if you knew the smell, I'm sure the gag reflex would be thrust into full effect. But this is beside the point-foul smelling or not, Daytona Beach 2004 now reigns as the party of the year...work-related, of course.
Now, spring break is a lot different for me than it might be for the most of you. To put it bluntly, I didn't live the typical college life most 18-21-year-olds seem to (I'm actually completing my ESL courses now). Even worse, coming from LA, most college students have a different grasp on what spring break is compared to the rest of the country. In LA, when there's vacation, you sleep. (Uh, that's just you, Jonny.-Staff) Everyone else seems to effing party. Luckily for me, my job takes me to places that most people would die to go, and since SB just happens to be on the menu, I get to "relive," if you will, the college life that I should have lived. And I gotta tell you, I was stupid for not doing it sooner (a 26-year-old can't handle it as well as those 20-year-olds can). Anyway...