It was astonishing. The unceasingly flowing masses of enthusiasts, loaded with Red Bull-type energy, raided what was once a quiet San Mateo Expo Center and blew the spot up like smart bombs in Baghdad. Indeed, our scene is very much alive, and Hot Import Nights is rockin' it to a steady beat. While I was embedded within the crowd like Ted Koppel to the 5th Regimen, I wrote a couple of notes to immortalize my experience at HIN.
Note #1: You can't imagine how close you get to the next person while scurrying about the packed showroom floors. You're so close to the guy next to you, you can see the pores on his oily skin. In a situation like this, there's plenty of grab-ass opportunities. Counter-note: Grab-ass ops only pertain to the card-carrying members of the pickle party. Unless you're into grabbing people of the same sex, the grab-ass ops are quite limited. The guy-to-girl ratio is, I believe, a whopping 150 to 0.01. However, if you're daring enough to grab OPGA (Other People's Girlfriend's Ass), then: a) you must be some big musclehead nobody wants to fight; b) you like getting your ass beat by 20-some-odd guys; or c) you're carrying some heat and don't give a damn what anyone says. Either way, you've got some balls.
Note #2: Sasha Singleton is more beautiful in person. With her sexy army fatigues barely clinging to her body, I'd love to be next to her during a nuclear attack-so we can have the let's-just-do-it-because-we're-gonna-die-anyway love session. Without a doubt, I'd love to protect her with my little soldier. Counter-note: I can't spit any kind of game to Sasha because: a) The music is too loud; and b) I pretty much don't have any game.
Note #3: It is great to see Super Street readers up-close-and-personal, albeit none are grab-ass-able. At least a dozen have walked in front of my camera, stepped on my tripod, or quizzically looked at my cheap Vivitar flash just to say hi. Counter-note: To the people who keep asking questions, let me reiterate my answers: 1) No, I don't work for Import Ricer; 2) No, we will not put your stock Civic on the cover; 3) No, I am not Ricky; and finally, 4) It's "Roh-el" and not "Rah-ool." (Whatever, Raul.-SS staff)
All in all, it's safe to say that the San Mateo HIN was one of the best car shows I've been to in years, and I didn't have to get shot at to cover it.
Due to our new kid-tested mother-approved PG-13 rating, the middle finger will now be replaced by the thumbs-up.
Spoon president, Tatsuru Ichishima, was there to reject our proposal for free products.
Ultimately, HIN turned into one large grab-ass festival.
By Roel F. Concepcion
Enjoyed this Post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed, or use your favorite social media to recommend us to friends and colleagues!