Growing up on the corner of 25th and Elm inside Long Beach's super-shady, super-seedy district, I became accustomed to several idiosyncrasies that only cities like the LBC can provide-ghetto birds hovering overhead almost every hour, random gunshots waking up entire neighborhoods, and genuine Crips doing the real C-walk. As a matter of fact, there are only a few selling points to convince anyone to move to Strong Beach. Yes, a Snoop Dogg encounter is likely, but the Doggfather doesn't really live in Long Beach. In fact, you may see more of him in the 909 rather than inside the 562. The Queen Mary's docked on the shores, but visiting an inoperative, ghost-infested ship is as appealing as, well, visiting an inoperative, ghost-infested ship. Of course, there is a beach, but who in their right mind would want to bask where the homeless bathe? Besides, I don't consider a beach without waves or a clear view of the horizon much of a beach. However, around every April, an event like no other magically sparks up my beloved town-the annual Long Beach Grand Prix (LBGP) and the Pro/Celebrity Race. People from all over So Cal flock to the Beach just to witness three days of open-wheel racing at its finest, and to see Hollywood's best (by "Hollywood's best," I mean B-side, who-the-hell-is-that celebrities) race each other for charities like the Human Fund. With a Pacific Ocean backdrop, palm trees, and even the Queen Mary, the event is only rivaled by Formula 1's race on the streets of Monaco. Even the Long Beach Convention Center was packed with vendors galore, showing off their cars and products.
This year's LBGP, however, was different for me. First, a once-in-a-lifetime chance to ride inside a Toyota Solara pace car on the temporary 1.99-mile track was something I definitely wasn't going to turn down, even though it meant racing down the front straightaway at 130 mph in the passenger seat while Old Man Winter was behind the wheel. But being an avid LBGP spectator, memorizing every turn on the track and the proper gear helped me strap on the helmet and place my life in the hands of Mr. Burns. Thankfully, my doom was postponed to a later date, though traversing through the track, wheel-to-wheel with the Toyota Celicas, would have been well worth a trip to Hades. Also, this time I had a press pass, which meant I was able to legally harass celebrities (see this month's Interrogation Room), meander without burly rent-a-cops chasing me, and the best part-it was free.
Comprised of one astronaut, a model, a soap-opera star, Jimmy Kimmel's best friend, and 12 other oxymoronic unknown famous people, the Pro/Celebrity Race wasn't that much of a downer. Where else can you meet the second guy on the moon, Buzz Lightyear, er, Buzz Beer, um, Buzz Aldrin? Taking a picture with Angie Everhart didn't require any coercing, while an interview with Adam Carolla was entertaining at most. And did I mention I finally got to ride on the track? Apparently, Days of Our Lives star Peter Reckell won the race in a little more than 18 minutes, with Jesse James of Monster Garage fame coming in Second, and surprisingly, Adam attained Third overall, although he usurped it by forcing Tommy Shane Steiner (yeah, we don't know who he is, either) into the wall, ending his race prematurely. Great going, Adam. The LBGP was the most fun I've had in Long Beach since I sex-hopped every street, parking lot, and Catholic church on the eastside with my ex-girlfriend. I love Long Beach!