Regardless, while I was driving and thinking about how great it was to be in the middle of all this excitement, rollin' with fanatical Super Street readers, all I really wanted to do was be in the middle of those breasts. Appropriately, the first lunch stop was at Hooters in Melbourne, Florida.
600 Ways to Get Jiggy with itThe overnight party was held, like always, at Club 600 North, where the Tour mob was treated to a Macky sighting and the first of many occasions where Roel embarrassed himself. With the help of Adrienne Roman, Super Street's regulator, Roel inexplicably found himself on top of the stage performing his best You Got Served dance moves. Later, he was found inside Lollipops, the nearest strip club, sleeping under the stage with a pacifier in his mouth. Visit www.superstreetonline.com for all of the embarrassing footage.
Day 2Daytona Beach to Atlanta: 434 milesAs soon as I stumbled outside of the lobby and into the parking lot, I was amazed to see that the small group of Tour fans had tripled in size in just one day.
Notably, it was Macky, Super Street's number-one fan, who further livened up the day by behaving like a true Super Street fan should: as creepy as possible. In the trunk of his dull-red EF Civic was every issue of the magazine neatly displayed in chronological order.
Our lunch stop for the day was at Enkei Wheels in Jacksonville, Florida. With boxes of pizza, a set by the oldest DJ in the world, and a welcoming Enkei staff, the stop provided the much-needed rest and food. However, it was the last place to stop if anybody on Tour needed to drain the weasel, as the Enkei staff refused to let anybody use the bathroom inside the building, citing that last year's Tour stop left a marred image for the Enkei execs.
The rest of the drive to Atlanta was filled with walkie-talkie action, which included my dirty conversations with Jennifer and Jessica Barton; my lessons in how to do the Admiral, Houdini, and Sticky Ricardo; and my hosting a round of $20,000 Pyramid featuring categories like breasts, sex, and undressing the Barton Twins. All of this, of course, contributed to Jennifer Barton finally agreeing to get naked once we reached the Atlanta hotel, as evidenced by the greatest Tour photograph ever (see boobies picture).
The final stop was at the Atlanta Motor Speedway, where all the participants were allowed to race their cars on the speedway.
| SOUTH LEG MATHEMATICS |
| Total mileage | 717 |
| Injuries involving the genitalia | 1 |
| Number of Red Bulls consumed | 55 |
| Flashlights purchased to see silicone implants through a breast | 2 |
| Number of miles traveled to find flashlights | 39 |
| People who saw Jennifer Barton expose her twins | 6 |
| Number of traffic violations performed in the RSX | 4 |
| Number of traffic violations performed in the RSX caught on camera | 1 |
| SPF number of Phil Royle's suntan lotion | 195 |
| Number of stupid people who ate a chunk of wasabi | 1 |
| Number of times Adrienne Roman received a lap dance | 6 |
| Number of Filipinos who enjoyed seeing Adrienne get a lap dance | 1 |
| Casualties | 0 |