On January 3, 2003, there was a loud thump at the Auto Club of America. A noise, much like an elderly man dropping to the floor, echoed throughout the building. It was the President. A faxed industry press release lay in his limp hand, reporting the unveiling of Alpine's '03 Honda Civic Si, a car so littered with electronics it could only be described as unprecedented. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of ad campaign money to keep citizens from using their cell phones, inhaling chipotle chicken sandwiches, smoking cigarettes, and driving stick all at the same time flashed before his eyes. It was all for naught. Alpine created his nightmare, and fleshed it out in a deep-blue hue. His monster lived. The ultimate distracted driving machine was unchained.
We received the same fax that day. However, we crumpled to the carpet for an entirely different reason: The sticker price. All in all, Alpine spent over a quarter of a million dollars on this Civic. That includes all the R&D, labor, parts, and the stock vehicle price itself. That's $250,000 for those of you who are counting. On top of that, the company received a whole hell of a lot of free gear from sponsors, which doesn't factor in to the expense equation. Even for a successful audio company, that's a lot of cash. But why is the company so spendy? One simple reason: Alpine wanted to prove its skills. And when you have mad skills to prove, you build a car that everyone is going to notice, like it or not.
The Shell
And you have to admit it, you noticed. The first thing that probably caught your eye was the exterior, how it's airbrushed like The Little Mermaid: College Years. Sure, it's over the top. In fact, it's rocketing into the ozone, leaving the planet behind. But Alpine knows that. So does Wings West. Together, both companies agreed that they needed to take the Civic to the next level, and there's no denying that they did. If you don't recognize the shape of the Si, that's because the Wings West G-55 body kit completely revolutionizes its makeup with one effortless curve after the other. Extreme fender flares jut out like Yosemite Sam pistols, ready for a showdown at high noon. The upper roof spoiler, lower front grille, side markers, smoked taillights: all Wings West creations, and all seamlessly applied. The cold-blue coat extends over everything too. Even the 19-inch I-Forged Swift wheels felt the brush, although the AEM big brakes posing behind them were left alone.
Belly of the Beast
The real treat is undeniably the interior. That's where Alpine's R&D super duo, Chris Yato and Steve Brown, worked their now infamous magic. Having already completed a competition-level '95 BMW M3 and a show-stopping '02 Acura RSX (another Wings West collaboration), Alpine required no coaxing whatsoever to get them started on the Si. The company knew these two could do something remarkable, and they certainly did. Take a good look in there and you may wonder if anything is left stock. Well, Chris? "Maybe the headliner," he says. "Wait, no, even that's an ultra-suede black fabric now. I guess just the factory rearview mirror."
So where do we start? Perhaps the same place Alpine did, with the center-drive seat. According to Chris, "If you think about it, the center is the optimum position for listening, so we decided to start there and base everything else around the driver sitting in the middle of the car." Sounds like a great idea, but what the hell is that thing that surrounds the seat? Well, it's not an iron maiden, despite its looks. It's a six-fingered remote-controlled metal cage that encloses and retracts at the push of a button. It's chock full of Autometer gauges to let you know what's going on with the engine. And it's as solid as an NFL linebacker. "It probably weighs a good 300 pounds," says Chris. That's a lot of weight, but you may be wondering something else: What's its purpose? Well, do you see any gauges on the dash? Neither do we. All we see are five video screens displaying a myriad of media. On the left is one playing an ad-like Alpine DVD, full of handshaking and world-changing men in their Sunday best. We're guessing it's a leftover from the CES show. In the middle is a PowerNav GPS pinpointing our location in Torrance, California. There's even a Nintendo GameCube firing up on the rightmost screen. Stepping back, there are eight monitors in all. It's enough to make you woozy with nerdcitement.
And the sounds...oh, the sounds! It's like a roving movie theater and dance club melted together as one. A horde of speakers is sprinkled throughout, some so intricately laced within their enclosures that you hardly notice they're screaming at you with top-quality sound. Four subwoofers (two 10-, two 12-inch) and four component speakers (two 5.25-, two 6.5-inch) are instantly recognizable, but the hidden tweeters and other ambient noisemakers make it a truly magical experience. Power them all with four (one 300-, one 500-, and two 1,000watt) AccuClass-D amps, along with another four-channel amp, and it's a wonder Alpine doesn't blow the Civic to bits when it's on.
Can I Keep It?
The Yato/Brown-created center-drive seat may be plenty comfortable, but it's also foreboding. There are few cars that give you the feeling that they could kill you without even turning the engine on. This Civic is one of them. Turn the music up too loud and your ears will feel like they did after listening to that Poison cover band you saw last week that was playing unplugged. And if you have even the slightest hint of eyelid jerk, it'll send you twitching with sensory overkill. But isn't it great? We love the fact that Alpine did this to a car. It proves its dedication to making its mark on the contemporary market. It's also extremely impressive. But you may be feeling that something isn't quite right.
There's something missing. And you are correct. The motor is, well, stock despite the AEM cold-air intake and spark plug wires. The reason? Well, as Steve illustrates, "We filled the gas tank when we bought the car. We'll probably never fill it again. It's a concept car." Which means that, yes, it's a trailer queen. But before you start railing about how lame that is, just think about how you'd feel if you spent a quarter of a million dollars on a concept car. Would you take it to Blockbuster to pick up a copy of Lilo & Stitch? Well, if you did, you shouldn't expect to find it when you get back to the parking lot. Oh, why are we talking about this anyway? Do you have $250,000 to spend? Well, then you should take us out to lunch, because we're really tired of eating crackers and vinaigrette salad dressing from the 99c store. Besides, a concept car is a concept car. It's built to show off Alpine's best. And you can't say it's not excelling at its job.
If you're hankering for a more lengthy rundown of all the mysterious technology built into the Alpine Civic, keep your eyes peeled for the June '03 issue of our sister publication, Car Audio Magazine. Since the very same Si will appear on the cover, you have no excuse to miss it.
Here's what the Venus flytrap gauge claws look like before you get inside.
And this is about when claustrophobia sets in.