Think back to the year 1999. Nightly newscasts proffer more and more evidence that you will die in a few months, most likely via public trampling while you're out purchasing a price-gouged 12-ounce Crystal Geyser bottle for $180. If you survived because you were smart and stocked your basement with the essentials, your hard drive will be obliterated regardless, which you may be looking forward to if it's caked over with porn. Otherwise, this will annoy you to no end. You have to cancel all your flights because everyone knows airplanes drop out of the sky if the pilot's Windows 95 freezes up. Then you stoop really low and buy the Survivor's Handbook, but can't find the section that explains how to make it through an Internet shutdown. Finally, you feel lost, helpless, despaired, pornless.
Ferdian Limsa, however, the owner of this S2, has no real connection to the Millennium Bug, or any other practical joke Barbara Walters came up with. He just lives in the same town as Bill Gates--and probably aspires to be his right-hand man someday. See, Ferdian is a student at the University of Washington, located near the heart of downtown Seattle, mere steps from Kurt Cobain's haunted mansion. He studies something smart, like engineering or math, but we're not exactly sure what it is because we were English majors, and math is hard. But Ferdian is obviously intelligent, and a closer look at his car actually reveals just how intelligent he really is. We're talking Wright Brothers here.
For one, who the hell knows how to lay out carbon fiber in the first place, let alone go at it on shapes that stump calculus majors? Ferdian does, and he stuck it everywhere he possibly could. Just think about this: Seattle has about 65 days of sunshine. Those days are usually just breaks in the clouds marked by a freakish high-pressure system sent up from California by accident. So how smart is it, then, to think that Ferdian covered his roof hatch with carbon fiber, essentially making it impossible to shut the roof on a rainy day? Oh wait, sorry Ferdian, maybe that wasn't so smart. OK, so it looks cool, which is what caught our eye in the first place. Plus, when you look around, it matches the other 10 pounds worth of beautiful weaves that Ferdian laid out, including odd spots like around the wheels, over the radiator, in and around the door handles, even around the emergency brake and the C's short shifter. Now that's a lot of carbon! Poor carbon trees.
Speaking of JDM parts like the C's shifter, Ferdian's S2000 is absolutely loaded with overseas goodies. Heck, we'd even go as far as saying it has more Asian pieces than a Russian ship full of mail-order brides. A C-West body kit, Spoon and Cusco strut braces--if you can see it, it's probably from Japan. Been reading your old Super Streets, Ferdian? We thought so. It's about time you took a break from studying mathgineering or whatever.
But you, the reader, may be wondering where the performance numbers are. What made us choose this S2000 as a feature instead of Devon Aoki's pink Barbie S2 in 2 Long 2 Download? Well, for one, Devon freaked out and refused to speak to us after she saw our pay stubs. Two, that car is, well, definitely something even the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cast would beat up. Sure, Ferdian's S2 doesn't have a turbo kit, a hard-core EFI tuning system, or anything that really boosts the hoof power. Quite honestly, we just wanted to show a car that's, yes, a show car, since we found Ferdian at Hot Import Nights in the first place. So, if you think we're getting too crazy with all the Japanese performance cars, drifters, and other vehicles you'll never, ever in your lifetime come close to owning, here's your answer. Here's proof that Super Street is still for the people, and definitely worth groping.
Ferdian is the classic case of contacting us after HIN and being cool and non-stalkerish enough as to not make us so nervous that we blur every shot we take of the car. Stop complaining and just keep working on your car. We're out there for you, and we don't want you to be afraid to let us know what you've been up to. Just remember to let us into your place so we can drink your Mountain Dew when another computer virus brings the world to its knees.
By Russell Brock
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