It was a late Saturday night, and we had just returned from a party, when my friend Steve went on a tangent. He claimed that our lives and actions can be explained by the episodes and evolution of Baywatch. He was being very serious, and somehow it made a lot of sense. It's funny how the early hours of the morning severely alter the way people think. Well, that and a lot of Guinness. And the company of slackers.
If you're not really into scantily clad sexpots fluttering on the beach in nothing more than a one-piece bathing suit, then skim on. But if semi-naked girls-next-door and lonely nights in front of the TV mean anything to you, you'll be able to relate to my recent revelation.
You see, I had trouble figuring out why Mario Crisantos' turbocharged '98 Civic coupe appealed to me so much. I had seen turbo Civics before, so this was nothing new. But then I remembered the third season of Baywatch, when the producers replaced Erika Eleniak with Pam Anderson. That's when it all made sense. Mario is basically an outsider to the show scene. He had built the Civic by himself away from the Import Showoffs and the Hot Import Nights which made it completely different from all the other cars in the show scene. Like Pam Anderson, Mario's Civic was new blood.
The first location for modification work was the underside. Installed fore and aft on the Civic are Weapon-R adjustable coilovers. Threaded down to a 4.5-inch drop up front and a 5-inch drop in the rear, the new suspension makes the Civic wiggle better than a babe in hot sand. Assisting the Weapon-R components are Suspension Techniques Drop Forks, Pro Arms, and oversized sway bars. DC Sports and GAB strut supports combined with a Neuspeed rear tie bar finish things off beneath Mario's ride.
Crowning the tuned chassis work are 17x7-inch Racing Sparco "Viper Fang" alloy wheels wrapped in Toyo rubber measuring 205/40ZR17 at each corner. For increased stopping authority, Power Stop cross-drilled rotors were bolted in place, together with Axxis brake pads and STR steel braided lines.
The coupe was then delivered to Body Pros located in Garden Grove, California, for a refreshing uplift and makeover. Prior to spray time, a Stillen front-bumper fascia was installed along with Wings West side skirts and modified rear valance. Body badging was then removed together with the trunk-mounted taillights. Next, Body Pros applied several coats of PPG Milano Red paint to the Civic. During the re- assembly, Mario opted for the installation of Aero Duo's carbon-fiber hood. No longer a corporate commuter, Mario turned his attention to the engine. To accomplish the go-fast factor, STR and GReddy were contacted for aftermarket essentials. Again, Mario got down and dirty, performing the assembly work himself. STR forged pistons were used to beef up the stock bottom end. Then an STR manifold and fuel rail were installed for increased airflow and added fuel.
Forced induction came next in the form of a modified GReddy Civic turbo kit consisting of a T004H turbocharger, Type S blow-off valve, and EJ1 front-mount intercooler. Exhaust needs are handled by HKS, while spark comes from a Crane Hi-6 ignition and Nology wires. Where Mario's do-it-yourself Civic differs from other turbo Civics making the rounds in the show scene is in engine itself. He decided to stay with the stock SOHC powerplant. But that didn't mean he was satisfied with it. No, if the SOHC was going to stay, it needed to clean up its act. That meant a polish job.
As the car's completion drew near, the cockpit was last on Mario's list. He added STR treatments to the carpet and door panels. A carbon-fiber trim package was installed, followed by engine-monitoring equipment from Auto Meter and GReddy. Adding to the performance appeal is a MOMO Top Power steering wheel, Razo race-style shifter knob, and OBX pedal pads. In-car electronics were last. For listening enjoyment, Mario has installed an elaborate audio/video system with equipment from the likes of Alpine, JBL, JVC, Rockford Fosgate, Sony, and Street Wires.
Located in the dash is an Alpine 7829 AM/FM/CD head unit. JBL speaker separates provide crystal-clear sound reproduction throughout the cabin, while V-12 Alpine amplifiers totaling 600 watts provide power needed to bump a pair of 15-inch Rockford Fosgate subs. Visual entertainment comes from JVC LCD monitor and Sony PlayStation. Street Wires cables were used for all connections.
With more than two years of time and money invested into his fantasy-come-to-life, Mario's story reminds me of the Baywatch episode where Hobie saves up his weekly allowance to pay for a night with Yasmine Bleeth. No, wait, that was last night's dream. Never mind.