Well, it has happened. Two-and-a-half years after our illustrious, nose-picking Emp put the inaugural Super Street (which we have since nicknamed "das Genesis Edition" or "il Genesis Edizionale," as Mussolini might have called it) onto your neighborhood newsstand and destroyed your previously well-founded appreciation of import automobiles forever, a Volkswagen Jetta has finally made it onto the cover of our modest jumble of words and pictures.
Don't fret. This isn't some sort of massive change of direction from our usual half-ass dictum. Nor have the missives of our magazine altered in any way. You'll still find the remaining 99 percent of the remaining year filled with Hondas (per copy editor Bryn's request, so send her all your poo poo mail-electronic or otherwise) and 99 percent of the remaining one percent filled with Acuras (again, hex Bryn). That the Jetta graces this month's cover and these four verbally rampant pages is just a case of giving credit where credit is due. That and a healthy kickback of autographed Justine Bateman headshots (the pre-London episode years, of course.)
Then there is the car-the raison d'etre (What's this, Rich? Some sort of French party dip? Just give me good ol' American cocktail weenies, you pinko.-BR) behind said long-winded going-nowhere-fast-so-far article.
A '96 Jetta III owned by a certain Mr. Scott Centra of Costa Mesa, California. Please keep in mind that though May represents our overly verbose Euro Issue, it is, at the same time, the month of our audio blowout, as well. Hence, Mr. Scott Centra. Hence, his '96 Jetta III. Hence this unorganized list of random words and phrases.
As I write the following set of randomness, I am staring into a Carson 8x loupe that is currently on top of and enlarging a slide reproduction of the Jetta's trunk (or boot, for our viewers in the UK and the lovely Cate Blanchett). It's a phenomenon in shape, color, and overall design. An embankment on the left side is sculpted into sharp cubist angles; on the right, a carefully curved box with a Plexiglas window exposing a chromed 10-pound bottle of nitrous surrounded by an exhibit of red neon.
Suddenly, I realize, that aside from the color, the nitrous, and the awe, I have absolutely no idea what I'm looking at. So I recruit our resident audio expert, Rakesh Patel. Rak is good with stereos. We call him Indian ICE.
Rak has a pretty cool setup in his car, so when he tells me that this is quite possibly one of the most elaborate stereo installations that he has ever seen, I say, "Gee, Rak, I wouldn't know. Aside from the color, the nitrous, and the awe, I have no idea what I'm looking at." At that point, he points to the acropolis of amps, speakers, and changers, and spews out a long list of letters and numbers. More specifically, the entire Alpine catalog. In the trunk alone, there are two CD changers (CHA-S614 and CHA-S1214), three amps (two MRVT502s and an MRVF505), and two 12-inch subwoofers (SWR-304e). To an audio ingrate like myself, this appears slightly extravagant. To Rak, it's really really cool.