A burnout is all at once illicit and empowering, a chest-thumping, testosterone-bumping show of badassedness. A burnout is also a great equalizer, as it's one of the few pleasures we share with those Paleozoic philistines who favor the more rustic-and rusted-hot rod buckets of a bygone era.
Yes, a burnout is truly a majestic feat to behold-a stunning showcase of power that's completely pointless. The 2JZ in this Supra is stuffed with 800 little ponies of pure power as proven on the drums of the SP Engineering dyno. We had to check these results for ourselves and we could only think of one way to broadcast the sheer might spewing forth from the bowels of our cover car.
Instead of a dyno, our power meter was a Rado, as in Christian Rado, a man with a healthy obsession for big horsepower-and an unhealthy one with big hair. Once the smoke cleared from his precisely calibrated burnout we extrapolated the force exerted by Christian's mandal-clad right foot and weighed each little shred of Falken FK451 rubber left in the blast radius. After factoring for driveline losses, wind, and Christian's D&G wifebeater, we concluded that this Supra makes exactly 803.734 hp. Well then, it seems as if SP's dyno needs to be recalibrated. Check back next month for another of our hard-hitting tech exposs as we measure EGTs with Carter's tongue.
If Chimpy isn't monkeying around this month you can see our video of Rado's burnout on www.superstreetonline.com, complete with footage of the Ventura County fire department's visit to High End Performance. Apparently the smoke from an 800hp burnout looks suspiciously similar to that of a warehouse fire. But this is nothing compared to the hot and sticky bikini contest (it was sooo humid!) at our Spring Break Tuner Bash. The good news is that we brought the video camera. The bad news is that the only time we shot anything was when Kenny "The Velvet Fog" Rudolph rocked the house with one of his infamous karaoke sets.
Our A-Team plan-coming-together method may need a little work but at least we got the smoky Supra and Rado even took the time to teach us how to execute the perfect burnout before being rushed to the emergency room to be treated for a stomach virus. Rado was endlessly refunding the contents of his not-so-happy meal during the down time between takes. He never once complained and soldiered through the entire shoot like the super trooper he is. For this-and because I'm sick of hearing things I don't know about Chuck Norris-I say that Christian Rado can roundhouse kick Walker, Texas Ranger in the face.
Rado is not alone on this list. Here are a few other people who can out-Chuck-Norris Chuck Norris: 2005 D1GP series champion Yasuyuki Kazama, who would not be denied at Irwindale's D1 season opener with his huge speed, extreme angles, and precise clipping point placement; the Rays Engineering designer who created the TE37; Hirotoshi Honda for the Mugen Civic Dominator; Rich Christensen, who is rapidly climbing the ranks of my favorite TV hosts along with Top Gear's JeremyClarkson and of course, Joey Greco. I would add my name to this list but my manboobs make me very top-heavy, precluding any sort ofroundhouse kicking activity.
- John Naderi