Super Street Network

Due to the EU’s Global Data Protection Regulation, our website is currently unavailable to visitors from most European countries. We apologize for this inconvenience and encourage you to visit www.motortrend.com for the latest on new cars, car reviews and news, concept cars and auto show coverage, awards and much more.MOTORTREND.COM
 |   |  Alternate Jobs - Chu's or Lose
Subscribe to the Free
Newsletter

Alternate Jobs - Chu's or Lose

Would You Like To Super Street-Size Your Order?

Ricky Chu
Apr 12, 2007
130_0611_01_z+ricky_chu_alternate_jobs+ricky_chu_hotdogs Photo 1/1   |   Alternate Jobs - Chu's or Lose

My ten-year high school reunion is tomorrow night and I can't help but wonder how my friends made out for themselves. I know a few are married, have kids, or both. But did any end up as a CEO of a fortune 500 company making more money a week than Primedia spends on focus groups a year?

For me, the past decade has been kind of an extended blur with breaks for work, getting kicked out of places, and other craziness, confirming and reconfirming that I'll never grow up. Anyone who knew me back then wouldn't bat an eye if you told them now that I was doing something with cars. My life was simple: It was either cars or skateboards-and I always talked trash. But what if things went different and Rikdaddy ended up as a(n):

* Fast Food Employee: Hey, idiot. Do you want fries or not? It's not a hard decision.

* Realtor: If you're not sure about the house, maybe you should ask your girlfriend since she seems to be running the show.

* Car Salesman: Nothing can be too fast. You might want to tuck your ovaries in, buddy.

* Investment Broker: Sorry. I don't even know what I was thinking when I invested your life savings in Kevin Federline's new album.

* Traffic Cop: I pulled you over because you're driving like an Jackhole, Jackhole.

* Personal Assistant: I don't know who you think you're talking to, but you can get your own damn dry cleaning.

* Grocery Checker: Uh, yeah, I use coupons too-but not all at once, cheap ass.

* Super Street Ad Sales: Do you wanna buy an ad? Well, why the hell not?

* Stylist: It's not my cut, it's your fat head, Bonk.

* Security Guard: Don't F with me, I have a can of pepper spray, flashlight, and a whistle.

* Flight Attendant: If you don't know to use a seatbelt by now, you should probably be wearing a helmet too.

* Dietitian: Put down the fork!

* Department Store Sales: I work off commission and that $8 jacket isn't gonna pay my bills.

* NBA Coach: You're getting paid $5 mill a year so do you think you could possibly put that orange sphere inside the hole when nobody is guarding you?

* Cable Guy: I'll be there between 8am and 8pm either Friday or Saturday.

* Fashion Photographer: Seriously, guys, just one more Polaroid and we're switching to film. I promise.

rikdaddy@superstreetonline.com

By Ricky Chu
157 Articles

BROWSE CARS BY MARKET

MORE FEATURES

The Aston Martin Valkyrie AMR Track Performance Pack gets improved aero, better brakes, and a stiffer suspension to go beyond ultimate
ManufacturerJan 23, 2019
Buyer at Barrett-Jackson Scottsdale auction nabs Supra VIN 20201 - signed by Toyota CEO Akio Toyoda - for $2.1 million, the entire bid benefiting the American Heart Association and the Bob Woodruff Foundation
Rory JurneckaJan 21, 2019
The Cayman GT4 will hit the popular R-GT series in 2020, going head to head with rally-fied Fiat 124 Abarths and Aston Martin Vantages
Conner GoldenJan 20, 2019
You've just purchased the new NSX but you have too much money left over and you need to spend it on something (we've all been there, right...). That's where AIMGAIN comes in.
RodrezJan 18, 2019
Preview the March 2019 issue of Super Street, with the GReddy x Pandem FC RX-7; a DSM 600HP Talon TSI; an AWD DC2; Shutter Space photo contest roundup; and more!
Bob HernandezJan 18, 2019
Sponsored Links

SEARCH ARTICLES BY MAKE/MODEL

Search
CLOSE X
BUYER'S GUIDE
SEE THE ALL NEW
NEWS, REVIEWS & SPECS
TO TOP