This month I got served, denied, rejected. We're talking a full facial from a massive slice of humble pie. Icarus didn't get his wings clipped this badly. K-Fed wasn't dumped this hard. My defeat has nothing to do with an unrequited Valentine although none of the import models are returning my texts-I h8 u b1tches JK 143 hit me back ;-)
Alas, my white whale is a car-a project car. You see, everyone on the staff has built a cover car: Ricky, Carter, Yamz, even Jonny (we'll give it to him even if it was only a wing image). This was my inspiration. I was going to build a cover car. It was all so clear-a cable television show would document the arduous process interspersing shots of me stitch-welding the chassis with the final application of my own vinyl signature above the driver side door. Then I would triumphantly fire up the car on the eve of the SEMA show for a quick 2 a.m. shakedown spin around the block. This is Emmy-winning stuff here. But then something happened when I was supposed to be having a ball-I dropped it.
There never were any TV cameras and the closest I've ever come to welding something was the random applications of J-B Weld that always seem to look more like what my boy leaves in his diaper. The lack of a film crew following my every move was actually a good thing since the wheels on this wagon started wobbling from the get go. First the car arrived late, then I couldn't get the parts that I wanted, and oh yeah, those wheels I just mentioned, they were the wrong size. Did I mention that the sun was in my eyes?
True, these are merely the standard challenges that greet every project car build but I was ill-prepared to deal with them. The topper came when we had to rush my newborn baby boy to the hospital. I tried shaking the sick out of him but it turns out the Child Welfare Service people tend to frown on that. I finally did what Mrs. Nads does best when the boy dampens his Pampers. I handed the car off smelling much like the baby after a wardrobe malfunction.
With only a few days left before the big show my boys (not my baby boy but my Super Street peeps) were left with a steaming pile of an unfinished project car. Somehow they managed to get the job done and get the car to the show. I was all set to proclaim the sheer futility of completing a project of this scope in the amount of time I had when I stumbled upon the Couture Fit. Leigh Guarnieri took my concept to a place I couldn't even imagine and he and his Fit stole the show and ran off with the coveted Playstation Gran Turismo award as well.
My Fit is still not finished and we'll show you the remaining work that needs to be completed in the next few issues, but it will probably never reach the level of Leigh's mega micro. I guess I'm not cut out for a career as an automotive stylist. It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway as who would want a signature edition car from someone named Nads.
- John Naderi