Super Street Network

 |   |  Life & Times OF J. Carter - April's Edition
Subscribe to the Free

Life & Times OF J. Carter - April's Edition

Tuning timetable:The right order

Carter Jung
May 1, 2007

Very few things really irk me in life. OK, so maybe a handful of them. When it comes to tuning cars though, I try to appreciate the owner's efforts in expressing their personal taste. You have to respect that their car, no matter how funky looking, is a result of their hard-earned cash and effort. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder-like your homie who thinks his girl is hot and she's really not and you don't have the heart to say otherwise. But, and that's a loud, reverberating but, there are tuning taboos I can't stand. And this month I'd like to go over one of them: tuning timetable.

Back in the day, in my day anyway, there were unwritten steps to "fixing up" your ride; it was like common sense. The first thing you'd do was lower your ride-cut your stock coils or buy springs. Hell, coilovers at the time were stuff of Star Wars fantasy. The thought of raising your car to sign off that fix-it ticket without having to insert sketchy rubber spacers or reinstall stock springs was as plausible in the mid-'90s as purchasing a lightsaber for home defense.

But I digress, once you lowered your ride you had several options: muffler, PIAAs, Fuba, etc. Like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, the future was up to you. If you were a baller you could opt for door number four and skip ahead: wheels. This was crucial because procuring a set of rims unlocked a new, albeit show, path that was previously unavailable: a body kit. More specifically, a painted body kit.

These days I see some stuff on the road that forces a look of disgust, like I just caught whiff of an ovulating orangutan's queef-during a yeast infection: Rides rocking primered body kits, to stock-height cars with enough wheel gap to fit Kirstie Alley's ass cheeks (yes, both of them), to bone-stock Pontiac Aztecs, the list goes on and on.

So consider this a step-by-step modification guide: Step 1, lower your car. Step 2, buy wheels. Step 3, buy a body kit. Step 4, paint the body kit. Step 5, install the newly-painted body kit.

As far as all the other mods go, feel free to sprinkle them in after Step 1. Everything else sort of falls into the gray area-like the primered, waiting-to-be-painted bumper not on your car.

By Carter Jung
164 Articles



Preview the February 2019 edition of Super Street - our Calendar Issue - featuring an EK9 Civic Type R, 900hp JZA80 Supra RZ, the new Toyo Girls, and more!
Dec 13, 2018
Dubbed “Racing Through the Ages,” this collection of six special 570S MSO coupes and spiders pays homage to McLaren's racing heritage
Ed TahaneyDec 13, 2018
The tastefully executed exterior, sweet plaid upholstery, and an E30 M3 inline-six make this an almost perfect build
Ed TahaneyDec 12, 2018
With the sixth generation of the BMW 3 Series arriving in March, the incoming 330i is roomier, quicker, more adept, and a sharper performer.
ManufacturerDec 12, 2018
The $3.2 million Aston Martin Valkyrie will get a naturally aspirated 6.5-liter V-12 that makes 1,000 hp at 11,100 rpm
Alex NishimotoDec 12, 2018
Sponsored Links