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Letter Of The Month
This month's lucky winner scored himself a set of Nitto NT-01 tires (255/40ZR17 shown). (www.nittotire.com)
"I haven't picked up Super Street in years and I've officially been impressed."
So I was at the airport because my lame flight got delayed and I walked into the bookstore to kill time. Perusing the rows of magazines, guess what caught my eye? Playboy and Penthouse. I was about to pick up one of the two fine reads for the plane until my itty-bitty conscious kicked in. How uncomfortable would that be for my neighbors riding coach? A chub in the comforts of my room is one thing, with passengers to either side of me, not so cool.
So I'm scanning for some PG booty and what catches my eyes? Melissa's sweet salute and Becky's beautiful breasts. I haven't picked up a Super Street let alone an import magazine in years, and I've officially been impressed. Not only did you guys improve your fine females, you have some of the baddest rides from here to Japan. Besides coaxing a chub or two with the models and Tokyo Auto Salon honeys, you managed to coax a smile. Keep doin' what your doin'. You guys are holding it down for the scene and like my aging ass, I hope you keep growing.
Via the Internet
You know how we know you're okama? You picked us over Playboy and Penthouse.
It is with the utmost respect that I compose this letter of gratitude, along with feelings of disappointment. You see, I have been a Super Street subscriber from the beginning, and absolutely enjoy every page of your magazine. So much so that when money was tight a while ago, I chose your pages to that of your competitor's.
Now, as I slowly ease my head from the grip of your anal canal, I will explain the aforementioned disappointment. It seems that the only time I have these days is after my morning coffee while sitting in the most sacred of places; for me at least. I am able to dually concentrate on cleansing my bowels and flip through the pages of Super Street. You see, it was a Saturday morning, in cold Connecticut, that I realized some horrible flaws from a dedicated subscriber's point of view. Because this was the tenth time I was looking through your mag, I viewed it in a different way, through different eyes. After a closer look at the cover, I found some distinctive flaws that caused temporary constipation:
Flaw 1: Your cover car is less than perfect, which really surprised me-the GT-R's hood is not aligned near the windshield. After years of cover cars, this was the first time I noticed something that irked me. Attribute it to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but wow, it looks sloppy, like someone overlooked this not only when photographing the car, but before this shot was cleared for the cover. Shame on you, Super Street.
Flaw 2: Sumlee's bikini does not do it for me. It looks strange on her body. Maybe it's just her breast augmentation or just my OCD again, but it just doesn't look right. She is way too hot to be portrayed in a less-than-perfect way.
I could go on, but I think I made my point: I have a bad case of OCD and I am scrutinizing your magazine way too closely. Sorry for the bickering! I really do love your magazine and cannot wait to get the next one.
Billy Lee Miller
West Haven, CT
Sounds like someone forgot to refill their Prozac prescription. That, or a 300mg of Getalife.
Honestly, I have nothing bad to say about you guys. I love your magazine and every time it arrives in the mail, I scamper off to my room to read it, but I really have to rant about something.
Recently, I did a report on the Nissan Skyline GT-R for one of my classes. I love the car and it's pretty much my only reason for attending college. I've been reading about it since I was 13. Needless to say, I thought I did a pretty good job on the paper until I received it back with a nice, fat "F" across the front page. Not only was I accused of not using good enough "sources," but the professor questioned whether I knew anything about the GT-R (as it turns out, I have a uterus and that renders me completely ignorant of any automotive knowledge).
I'll admit, I forgot that I wasn't writing for automotive-savvy people like yourselves, but I assumed I wasn't writing for a complete jack-ass either. I forgot that many ignorant people don't understand what horsepower is...but I digress. As I skip my Japanese class today and resist the urge to drop out of journalism all together, I look at my copy of Super Street on the floor and smile. Maybe one day my grandma's old Buick I drive will magically turn into a Skyline, but alas, they are only hopes and dreams! So I will reluctantly park my crappy car in one of the scarce parking spots two miles from campus and make my way to my next class through the barrage of Hummers, Mercedes and BMWs.
And whatever these "professors" say to me, I will always know deep down that the Skyline will always be news.
Via the Internet
If a uterus rendered one entirely ignorant of any automotive knowledge, our staff combined would have a six-pack. And Nadsy's would be industrial-sized.
I figured it was about time I sent in a letter. I've been reading your magazine for about a year now and I love thestyle. It combines cars, women and humor in just the right proportion. If only sex, food and TV would combine as easily. I don't know of any other magazine out there that gets cars as hot as Top Secret's V-12 Supra and also gets women as hot as Misa Campo. But the part I look forward to most in your magazine is the jabs you make at Carter's Skyline. Keep up the good work.
Wow, at least one person on the whole entire planet Earth knows how to spell Cater's name right.
OK! Enough is enough! One more sob story about how some 25 year-old living in their parent's basement can't afford a $2,000 turbo because their allowance for mowing the yard doesn't cut it and I'll be super-gluing a bar of Lever to their shower floor to invade all 2,000 body parts.
You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary between $#!t and syphilis. The staff at Super Street puts out a great magazine and have better things to do than cry with you. So to all the cry babies and whiners-don't drop your soap. See you in ten to twenty.
Via County Jail
Funny, next to a riveting round of "Just the Tip," "Drop Your Soap" is fourth on the list of favorite sexual pastimes.
I think you should do a search for the next top import model at college campuses around the nation.
Via the Internet
Where do you think Derrick recruits them? After high and middle schools, when he gets desperate, he heads to local JCs. We're waiting for Chris Hansen to set up shop for his next taping of To Catch a Predator at our offices. For reals, aspiring models, send pics to firstname.lastname@example.org.
OK, I've been reading your magazine for about three years now and I have always overlooked you talking about Nads' man boobs. I mean, come on, there's always that one guy you pick on and I didn't really care that you always said they're big. But damn. In the April '07 issue, the Mail Sack section has a picture of Nadsy showing a little cleavage and I was down right shocked. That's the type of boy cleavage you hear about in urban legends. Please, for the sake of humanity, start a fund for Nads' breast reduction.
Via the Internet
Well, in Nads' defense, he did have a son.
I have a bone to pick with you guys; more specifically ten. Here's my list of annoyances this month:
10. Carter/Cater. You should only hire people with sufficiently different names to avoid confusion.
9. How dare you call a 150hp Scion xB a "racecar" (Final Call in Feb issue)!
8. Not enough Francine Dee (had to slide that one in)
7. Dyno charts? Seeing those would be nice every so often.
6. Drift obsession. What happened to AWD and FWD performance? I know that this is the "cool thing" right now, but it would be nice to see one issue that did not feature a S13, S14 or S15. Variety is the spice of life.
5. The model photos on the cover and in the table of contents are the exact same ones within the mag. You do take more than one photo, right?
4. Redesign #312. I actually like this layout the best, let's stick with it.
3. You recycled 25 percent of the photos from the March issue in April. What the hell?
2. A magazine with "Street" in the name focuses mainly on cars that are not street legal and can't even run pump gas. I love to see racecars and all, but I buy this magazine to see what's going on on the street.
1. I can't get your facts straight. Your April cover car (1,000hp) is also in Motor Trend''s April issue and they said it is 850hp. Somehow, I trust their numbers over yours.
I was half kidding with most of these, but each has a bit of truth! I do love your mag and general attitude about things, which is why I subscribe. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing. Come on guys, get to work!
We had the same list of ten annoyances for the month. You and your annoying list now make it eleven. You officially suck as bad as we do. Almost. We take sucking to a totally non-phallic yet completely erect high.
Like every beginning of the month I look forward to getting the issue of Super Street, and when it gets here I take it to my office (bathroom) and read the mag cover to cover.
But after reading the April issue I was pissed. I read the part where Ricky said he was gonna leave 'cause some stupid people don't like him. He was leaving 'cause of that shit? We all know that's part of our industry. We all have fans and then we have all the people whose only goal in life is to pick apart anything we say and do. Hell man, why leave 'cause of that? What would these ass-clowns have to live for after that?
I got so mad that I went upstairs (to the real office) and wrote Rick an e-mail, only to find out that it was his prank for April Fool's. I sat upstairs and kicked myself for being the one who didn't catch it. So I have to say, Ricky, you got me bro, and it's good to see you're not going anywhere.
Paul (NiZ) Reed
Via the Internet
Our favorite word of the month: ass-clowns.