Do you prefer them natural or with bolt-ons? As for me, I'm not particular. I just want to be able to motorboat 'em because I'm a motorboating sonuvabitch. Wait a sec, did you think I was talking about boobies? Actually, I was talking about boobies. I spend much of my time talking about boobies, imagining scenarios involving boobies and what some boobies would look like if allowed to break free from the confines of that party pooper, the brassiere.
For the purpose of this month's cover story (and to maintain our PG-13 rating), the natural vs. bolt-on debate can be applied to engines as well as boobies. And much like mammaries, I'm into all kinds of engines, from the perkiest all-motor A cups to the most bodaciously-enhanced, big boost double Ds.
My all-motor RSX has finally reached a supreme state of tuning, thanks to the good wrenches at Church Automotive and Import Car Doctor. I love the rush of a fine-tuned NA Honda four at full clip. And what of the pure bliss of a Revolver or Hasselgren-built 4AG winding up to 10,000 rpm? Impressive, but not even close to the stratospheric 19,000rpm redline of the naturally-aspirated2.4-liter V-8 found in today's F1 cars. While nothing can truly match the sound and fury of F1's four-wheeled projectiles, for us rice boys a T88 singled-Supra with quadruple digit horsepower comes awfully close - especially when it comes with boost. Turbo, all-motor, supercharged, or nitrous - I welcome any and all of these hits to feed my fix.
It seems not everyone shares my one-love philosophy, which is why we're bringing you our Power Up Smack Down guide to give some industry heavies a chance to throw their weight - and considerable knowledge - around to extol the benefits and drawbacks of each setup. This is also a great opportunity to let people give each other a printed beat-down (watch out for paper cuts!).
Speaking of smack talking, we are losing one of the all-time greats, The Mad Chu. Rikdaddy is leaving us to be the Editor-in-Chief of Project Car. But, he'll still contribute his Chu's or Lose column each month. I encourage you to pick up PC's second issue (on sale August 14), so he won't have to beg for his job back. I would never take you back, Ricky. Wait, JK. I love you, man, please come back! As you can see, I'm experiencing a range of emotions with this loss.
Don't fret because we replaced Ricky with, um, no one yet. We can't find anyone willing to work for old Tour t-shirts and car parts. But we did get ourselves a new copy editor. Welcome aboard, Valerie. You won't punk out on us like Ricky, will you? JK. Ricky, please come back!
Lastly, we've been bought; we always knew we were sell-outs, but this is ridiculous. To our new bosses at Source Interlink Companies, may I just say that you made a wise decision. But I'm sure that comes easy to a company as savvy as yours. Did I mention how good that suit looks on you? Have you lost weight?
Apparently I'm a much better ass-kisser than trash-talker.
John Naderi email@example.com