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Usual Suspects - February 2008

Contributors And Unsavory Characters

Feb 1, 2008

The problem with working three months in advance sometimes is that the pictures we really want to run, for the sake of embarrassing someone, become outdated by the time the magazine hits the newsstands. The shameless often forget their shameful past-that is, until they come across this page.

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Tetsuya Ogushi
We love that Tetsu works tons of overtime just so he can blow his two-weeks paid vacation to come and party with us in the U.S. He brought an authentic Yoshinoya workers uniform and tried to play it off like he was a Dragon Ball Z character. Tetsu didn't believe he looked like a Yoshinoya employee until we dragged him into the West L.A. store at four in the morning. You can ask Carter about other things that Tetsu doesn't believe in.

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Greg Yamamoto
Where would we be without Yamz's infinite knowledge of the car world? We're not sure, but we do know that even with his help, we've managed to screw up a lot of things, like not knowing what a pair of dikes are. (We thought that was an accepted thing in this day of age.)

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Roel Concepcion
Roel's assumed a very private life as of late, claiming a need to find himself. Whenever we've tried calling or knocking on his door, he sends us on our way, but not before letting his dog, Kenji, out so he can take a leak (or a crap) on our legs. He later apologized and said he was just trying to download the entire Bang Bus series after a coworker sent him a login and password.

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Scott Dukes
Every once in a long while, Jonny will spot the Dukes of Hazzard in random spots around town. Jonny accuses Scott of taking on paparazzi like motives when there aren't any old school cars to shoot, but Scott just likes exploring the town. Perhaps Jonny is insane; perhaps not.

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Tyrone Rodriguez
Not everyone can handle Henry DeKuyper's yellow fever madness, except for Tyrone, who we suspect he is equally attracted to. The two marched through the Tokyo Motor Show and tricked unsuspecting race queens into doing lewd acts-like throwing up the peace sign and waving-on camera as part of a new Japanese game show. Don't be surprised if you see DVD ads popping up with hot Japanese girls and their pixelated hand movements.

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Terence Patrick
Something big has happened with Terence, but we can't reveal what until next month. Care to take any guesses? We can guarantee that it definitely does not involve midget tossing, bending spoons or playing video games.

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Scott Steinberg
Scott is a national man of mystery; he'll disappear for weeks upon end and call out of the blue for his next assignment. What he does during those days of absence, we'll never know, but if it involves midget tossing, bending spoons with the mind or beating Halo 3 in two hours, we want to know about it.

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Justin "Dirty Sanchez" Fivella
As the lone ranger on Project Car, the dirty one, Justin, must now play servant to our needs. This means all the duties he pulled before, times two. Do not feel sorry for Justin, though; someday he'll be washing lettuce, then fries, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in!

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Henry Z. Dekuyper
Letting Henry loose in Japan is like sharting; you don't purposely let it happen, but once it does, there's no way to stop it. But this is what keeps the H-man happy. We like it when he's happy Henry because bad Henry is not really Henry at all; that would be Zolton.



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