Mobile Halloween Costumes
Want to get festive for Halloween this year? Here are some costume ideas for your ride. Once you're done playing dress-up, take a picture and send it in. Afterwards, re-evaluate the amount and usage of available free time and consider signing up for one of the many internet dating sites. If that sounds like too much work, Google "bukkake."
10 Jason Voorhees:
Rubber band the largest hockey mask you can find around your front grill. Troll summer camps.
9 Michael Myers:
Apply a coat of clay over your vehicle and let dry white. Wear coveralls from your favorite tuning shop while driving. Steer clear of any sisters.
8 Frankenstein:
Swap head and tail lights with a Bimmer's. Altezza lights works well as a substitute. Go wild. Think Super Street, circa early 2000.
7 Freddy Krueger:
Airbrush your car the burnt-by-angry-villager, exposed flesh look or bolt on an unpainted, primered body kit. Keep wet dreaming that you can claw your way into Lisa Kim Fleming's bed.
6 Pinhead:
To execute, think hood pins. A lot of hood pins. Strap jumbo-sized Rubik's Cube in passenger seat.
5 Mummy:
TP your ride like it was your annoying neighbor's house. Avoid this costume selection on rainy days.
4 The Blob:
Works best if the car is red and the owner is 300-plus pounds.
3 Leatherface:
Wrap exterior with sheets of leather. Drive around town revving your motor like it was a chainsaw. Use rotaries, boxer motors or misfiring four-strokes for complete effect.
2 Mustang:
Affix Ford, Mustang and Saleen emblems. Wear penile-scrunching, extra-small chonies to simulate overcompensation and go pick on stock Hondas.
1 Combat:
A distant cousin of Frankenstein, swap bumpers with bastardized VeilSide body kits. Simply stir, terrorize, and enjoy!