It's Tuesday morning and as we contemplate life, the mind drifts to scan a mental horizon for delightful things that life offers in pairs. Pam's breasts, Carmen Electra's tempting flesh scoops and Sasha Singleton's BOLD homage to cosmetic surgery seem to malinger in this fractured mind easiest. BAPE Sta 88s are another desirable pair. After hot-boxing your Sentra, the two tacos for 99 cents at Jack in the Box can also be a pretty desirable pair. The rich bitch Olsen twins were ALMOST desirable in a creepy, lets-go-hot-tubbing-with-a-head-full-of-Grey-Goose sorta way before they started dressing like homeless Amish peasant women and we realized that they would get no taller. Add the latest pair of Mitsubishi Lancer Evolutions to that list of inviting pairs. The new 2008 Lancer Evolution GSR and MR are a couple of entertaining vehicular fun bags with distinct personalities and a willingness for tuning.
The keys to a 2008 Lancer Evolution GSR were waiting for us at the office one Friday afternoon. Having just topped off at Ph 54 after a photoshoot that was only memorable because the model had raging camel toe that would challenge even our most gifted Photoshop jockey (that's Terence, in case you were stumped), the keys were a reminder that the weekend held the promise of tooling around in a fast car. We had spent considerable time in the previous generation Lancer Evolution GSR (IX) and the memory of one long trip to the Bay Area still makes my kidneys wince. Still, the car was fast; no, it was brutally fast with the suddenness of a prom night bitch slap for getting "too fresh." Unlike my prom dates, the IX loved to be manhandled and, when driven in anger, this amped up compact sedan rewarded its pilot with supernatural speed, gobbling up tarmac with the gluttony not seen since the last time noted fat bastard Val Kilmer ordered room service.
Simply put, the new Lancer Evolution GSR does EVERYTHING better than its predecessor, short of straight line acceleration. The new car gains considerable weight in the name of safety, chassis rigidity and improved width. With 291 horsepower on tap (versus 286 for the previous vehicle), the new GSR relies on more aggressive gearing (4.687), and the magic of Super All-Wheel Control (S-AWC) to lap a track faster than the old car. At least on a twisty road, the new car can be a willing, tail-happy machine thanks to the previously-unavailable-in-this-market Active Yaw Control rear differential. This torque-vectoring unit endows the new Evo with arse-tossing, backside drifting manners uncommon for an all-wheel drive car. The proven Active Center Differential unit splits engine torque between the front and rear wheels, while a mechanical front limited slip differential aids traction up front. Not only does this new, faster reacting all-wheel-drive system help the new car turn fast laps, it elevates driver confidence and control to a silly, s#&%-eating grin level.