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How To Tell You're Not Old School - Road Rage

You Might Not Be Old School If...

Aaron Bonk
Dec 1, 2009

I know-nobody wants to be the newbie. It's hip to be old...or to at least pretend to be. But pretending to be something you're not almost always ends with a big, fat fail. The forums will prove as much, where teens and 20-somethings preaching about the good ol' days run buck wild, where misplaced senses of reality lead others to believe that 2001 was indeed "back in the day." To be sure, dozens of 20-year-olds all claim to have been at the first Battle of the Imports...which would have made for pits full of kids in Pampers. Even more insist they've "been in the scene" for years, helping "older brothers" and "friends" swap engines or tag along to the street races. You might only be 19, but if you can get everyone to believe you've been helping your "neighbor" build engines since you were eight, well, you've just earned instant credibility...at least among the forum monkeys. Nonsense. There just weren't that many kids around back then. All of this is almost enough to upset the true old schoolers-the guys who've been carrying the Honda torch proudly since the late '70s up until the early '90s when building a high-performance Honda was just beginning to not be considered lame. Almost.

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The forum threads begin innocently enough. "Post your old school memories" or "You know you're old school when..." is what the threads usually look like. But they often steer off course within the first few comments, overtaken by those who would've been in elementary school during the first Battle, like the Honda "veteran" who reminisces of the first time he saw an RSX or the guy who actually has the words "old school" in his signature and posts thing like "Check out my old school build thread, circa 2003." If you need to be told that the phrases "old school" and "build thread" contradict one another then, well, you just might not be old school.

• You know you're not old school if your old school memories have anything to do with an internet forum.

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• You know you're not old school if your old school photos are on a memory card.

•You know you're not old school if you've never called a DC2 Integra a "'94-'01 Integra."

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember VTEC not existing.

• You know you're not old school if you never really, really wanted a ZC swap.

• You know you're not old school if people refer to you by your honda-tech username.

• You know you're not old school if you refer to other people by their honda-tech usernames.

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember wanting PIAAs and a six inch exhaust tip.

• You know you're not old school if you've always used the term "JDM."

• You know you're not old school if your old school memories begin with "My older brother's (or cousin's, or friend's) car..."

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember wanting the CRX in the old Wings West ad.

• You know you're not old school if you don't love Plastiguage.

• You know you're not old school if a keyboard had anything to do with buying your first Honda, changing your first timing belt, or ordering your first intake.

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember just how hard B-series swaps used to be.

• You know you're not old school if you think the low-offset wheel trend began with Hondas...or VWs.

• You know you're not old school if you've never had Neuspeed springs. That were cut. On stock shocks.

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember when Mugen parts weren't rare.

• You know you're not old school if you don't remember when Mugen made parts that made power.

And finally,
• You know you're not old school if you actually call yourself old school.

By Aaron Bonk
411 Articles

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