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Freelancers September 2009 - Usual Suspects

Sep 1, 2009

Contributors and Unsavory Characters
What would the world of Super Street be without its small band of freelancing bandits? Overworked and undercompensated. Wait, that sounds like us regardless!

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PHI Phung
Despite what the rumor mill has been spitting out, Phi Phung is no longer dating Lindsay Lohan. But rather, he is having copious amounts of sex with Miss Piggy, the surly animal/muppet, who recently changed her license plate to read "2 HI PHI."

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Gary Narusawa
Gary Narusawa is an avid fisherman. He can often be found from sunrise to sunset, sitting on the pier scouring the Pacific Ocean for seahorses, tuna, dolphin and of course, manatee. But he doesn't eat any of these sea animals. He simply catches them and hugs them.

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Terence Patrick
Terence Patrick is soft-spoken, polite and generally considerate of others' feelings. But what people don't know about Terence is that he owns 50% of Vitamin Water and has aspirations to "put a cap" in Jay-Z so he can swoop on a widowed Beyonce. To each his own.

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Ben OH
Before Ben Oh became a critically- acclaimed writer of all things automotive, he was a stage performer who was so talented that people from across the globe came to see him dance, sing, mime and of course, masturbate on stage. Miming was his specialty.

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Scott Steinberg
Scott Steinberg is a pimp, like, literally a pimp. He has a stable of hos in control and has a big-ass bank roll. When asked how he got into the pimp game, he replied in Spanish: "Son los mejores hombres y mujeres no son buenas. Paz a todos mis sobrinos."

Scott Dukes
Scott is the only creature on earth capable of listing all 137 of the hottest Mexican women in the entertainment industry, which includes Salma Hayek, Elsa Benitez and shockingly, Artie Lang. When pressed about the inclusion of Artie, Scott simply said, "Loner boner."

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Christopher Sullivan
Before getting a gig at Super Street, Christopher Sullivan was the lead consultant in Nicholas Cage's forgotten movie hit Bangkok Dangerous. Christopher said that his sole responsibility was to show how to turn sideways in airport turnstile to avoid Bangkok.

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Joey Lee
When Joey Lee isn't working freelance for the magazine, he sits at home scouring Craigslist for housing, jobs, service and of course, personals. His favorite category is "misc romance," where he actually met his now-estranged wife, who will remain "miscellaneous."

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Roel Concepcion
When Roel Concepcion isn't banging geriatric groupies, getting kicked out of elementary schools, and rubbing his balls on windshields of parked cars at the mall, he's at home Googling for videos about geriatric sex, getting kicked out of schools and rubbing balls on windshields.

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