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Do Androids Run Over Electric Sheep? - Resonator

Les Bidrawn
Sep 18, 2011

Like many Americans, I’m suspicious of big government. I don’t like rules and regulations insinuating themselves into every facet of my life. Surveillance cameras bug the hell out of me too. They’re just one step closer to an Orwellian future.

Epcp 1110 01 o+responator+les bidrawn Photo 2/3   |   Do Androids Run Over Electric Sheep? - Resonator

Sadly, the government had to step in and insist folks wear seatbelts while driving. For me, that’s like reminding a person not to shove rat poison up their nose. Seatbelts save lives, end of story.

Uncle Fred, however, refuses to wear them because The Man told him to. But that’s Fred. Telling him not to throw rotten avocados at passing cars is a sure way to get him to do it.

Using cellular phones while driving cars has become an issue as well. In a nutshell, you shouldn’t do it. It’s another dangerous activity most sane people don’t engage in. Then again, some shove rat poison up the nose—you know, for kicks.

About 11 p.m. the other night I heard the unmistakable screech of rubber and an ensuing crunch of metal and glass. Someone had once again hit the wall lining the street below my house. I looked outside and, sure enough, I could see a headlamp poking through the concrete wall, bathing the street in the dying glow of a xenon lamp.

Judging by the hole, the Infiniti G35 had slammed into the barrier with some force; the driver was still fuzzy from the impact. The talc from the airbags made him look like a hipster ghost.

“You OK man?” I asked (a pretty obvious query).

“Yeah, I think so.”

He started to pat himself down, looking for blood or protruding bones. As he did, his iPhone dropped from his lap. I picked it up and noticed he was in the middle of a text message. I accidentally dropped the phone and accidentally stepped on it with the heel of my shoe. I did this several times, you know, by accident. What a shame. It looked like such a nice phone.

Epcp 1110 01 o+responator+phone Photo 3/3   |   Do Androids Run Over Electric Sheep? - Resonator

Mr. G35 was regaining his senses now. Standing beside his car, he started looking for his wallet, registration and, I guess, his phone. I grabbed it by an exposed wire and dangled in front of him like a dead camel spider.

“Major drag dude… hopefully the SIM card is still all right.” (I seriously doubted it.)

This makes the third time in five years a car has slammed into that wall. The first involved alcohol. Not a good idea to drink and drive. The second involved an ill-fated drifting session. Not wise to race on public streets. And this third time, the driver was attempting to text his sweetheart while negotiating a pretty hairy turn. Now that is downright stupid.

Perhaps the government may want to institute a “common sense” bill into its books. Until it’s law, folks are going to continue to do stupid stuff like shove rat poison up their noses or text while driving. Both are equally dangerous.

The driver was attempting to text his sweetheart while negotiating a pretty hairy turn. That’s just downright stupid.


Les Bidrawn
Editor
european.car@sorc.com

By Les Bidrawn
242 Articles

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