Courtesy of YouTube, Metacafe and those Girls Gone Wild DVDs you can't resist downloading off BitTorrent, the video revolution has finally arrived. Prepare yourself by copping this gargantuan 1.5TB external hard drive - 1TB ($259.99) model also available - whose speedy transfers are optimized for storing and retrieving digital footage. Thankfully for your wallet, those looking to share short clips of Jackass-style stunts with friends on the other coast can cop the travel-friendly Go (starting at $119.99 for 250GB) as an alternative.
www.seagate.com / $299.99
Nintendo's Virtual Console digital download service might be dope, but if classic joints like Mega Man or Double Dragon are truly your passion, it pays to keep one of these wireless controllers handy. Delivering 30 hours of battery life on two AAA batteries (translation: enough time to beat both Ninja Gaidens, and Super Metroid), the pad's old-school layout enables cordless retro-style play from 10 feet away. Now if it was only as easy to give our geriatric reflexes a power-up...
www.nyko.com / $29.99
Three cheers for industrial design! Following an extreme makeover, Apple's budget-priced audio/video dynamo sports a sexy new form factor that comes in a range of eye-popping colors (hooray for Hot Pink!), and introduces added functionality. Enhancements include sleeker looks, automated music recommendation features, and a motion-powered accelerometer, so you can shake to shuffle music, or play 3D games just by tilting. Combined with additional storage space, it's a perfect tagalong or gift-giving option (read: practically virtual crack) for today's fashion-conscious hipster.
www.apple.com / $149 (8GB), $199 (16GB)
Obvious cosmetic downsides and migraine-inducing potential aside, these futuristic shades reasonably approximate the experience of watching a 52-inch widescreen TV from nine feet away. Connect an iPod Touch, portable media player or game system, and the world disappears in a blur of sound and vision, with built-in earbud headphones completing the experience. Worth a peek for novelty value alone, they're less sexy than the real McCoy, but (surprise) a hell of a lot easier to pack in a carry-on.
www.vuzix.com / $249.95
Eyeclops Night Vision
While we've been anxiously awaiting x-ray goggles' arrival since hitting puberty, today's hormonally-challenged co-ed can enjoy the next best thing. Behold a cost-affordable pair of infrared specs, capable of providing 50 feet of visibility in pitch-black environments on an LCD display, allowing you to sneak up on unsuspecting crushes. Just be careful where you're tiptoeing: Given the accessory's bizarre Splinter Cell-esque aesthetic, if that special someone catches you, it's going to be hell explaining your way off the sex offender registry.
www.jakkspacific.com / $79.99
Far Cry 2
If you can't beat 'em, burn 'em - using dynamically-spreading fire to smoke out armed gunmen before Swiss cheesin' 'em is truly a sight to behold. Still, it's just one strategy employable here, including swiping vehicles, knocking down walls and wielding straight-up firepower (provided that SMG doesn't jam) to survive Africa's blood-stained savannahs. A first-person blaster with open-world scope, this worthy sequel's massive environs, multi-tiered strategic approach and arsenal of handy, if annoyingly permanently killable, allies make it number one with a bullet.
www.ubisoft.com / PC, PS3, Xbox 360
WWE Smackdown VS. Raw 09
Another year, another chance to remind ourselves that watching half-naked barbarians roshambo and pimp-slap one another to Limp Bizkit tracks remains the pinnacle of civilized entertainment. This year's big strides: Support for creating your own finishing move - hint: aim for the eyeliner - and enhanced tag-team mechanics, putting greater influence on coordinated momentum. A fresh campaign mode also offers opportunity for dual-character development via co-op play, with downloadable bonus content just another of the title's several welcome, if hardly jaw-dropping, innovations.
www.thq.com / PS2, PS3, Wii, Xbox 360, PSP, DS
Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe
The surest sign your once genre-defining one-on-one ass-whupper's star power is waning? It either: A. Ratchets down the violence to increase mass appeal; B. Willingly claims The Flash and Wonder Woman as controllable brawlers; C. Assumes gamers still dig comics; or D. All of the above. Sadly, while a solid stab at the typical punch-kick-combo equation, unless trapped in a permanent state of adolescence, take a pass. Kitsch value aside, to love it is to never know the touch of a woman.
www.midway.com / PS3, Xbox 360
If Rock Band 2 is too socialization-intensive and Guitar Hero: World Tour is not easy enough on the hand-eye coordination for your tastes, consider simplifying with this happy-go-lucky alternative, where failure's literally no option. Just jam along on Wii remote, balance board or nunchuk controller to make 60+ instruments including pianos, drums and yes, even cowbells, cheerfully pound or jangle away - no talent necessary. While slightly emasculating, hey... at least it offers idiot-proof exploration of atypical genres, including salsa, jazz and classical.
www.nintendo.com / Wii
Bigger might not be better, but it damn sure seems so in the jaw-dropping sequel to PS3's first killer app, which introduces massive set pieces and larger mutant hordes to its predecessor's trigger-mashing formula. Whether watching buildings crumble around you in real-time while skyscraper-sized monsters make super-sized piatas out of them, or retaking cities overrun by slavering humanoids, prepare to be floored. If laser-wielding alien adversaries don't blow you away, rest assured eight-man online co-op or 60-strong multiplayer match-ups will.
www.playstation.com / PS3