I immediately jumped into the first available taxi cab as soon as I landed in Las Vegas and rode excitedly to my destination, Ms. Janis Kowalsky's house. Usually, my Vegas trips are filled with bouts of alcoholism, utter loneliness, and overall indulgence. But I will be experiencing none of the above this time and for good reason; I'm about to have dinner, drinks, and a karaoke session with one of the hottest dime breezies ever to set foot atop a 2NR cover. Who wouldn't be excited?
Janis opens the door to a rather large house; she's beaming with a smile and introduces me to Meatball, a fluffy orange cat that absolutely hates men and stinks of kitty litter. She gives me a tour and makes sure she apologizes for the mess. Papers, clothes, books, and junk line the inside of her bedroom, completely opposite of its owner who is simply stark beautiful. We set off to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and eventually land ourselves into a karaoke booth at Boomerang's. It was a night filled with conversations about pole dancing and samurai movies.
2NR: You're an accomplished model thus far, with gigs at Hot Import Nights and various prints including swimwear catalogs. Have you gathered any stalkers yet?
Janis Kowalsky: I have this stalker in India who continues to instant message and e-mail me. He's in love with my swimwear photos.
2NR: I don't blame him. But has he crossed the line yet? Like send you roses or parts of his body, like his ear?
JK: No, but I love the roses you gave me. This feels kind of like a blind date.
2NR: Don't flatter yourself, sweetie. I'm all business here. OK, I'm clearly lying. But thanks anyway. So what do you do outside of modeling?
JK: I write music, record tracks, and act. Right now, I spend most of my time in the studio. And I'm actually playing a dancer in an independent horror flick, shot here in Las Vegas.
2NR: A dancer? Like a beautiful Julliard School of Arts ballerina dancer? Or a Las Vegas/Crazy Horse Too ballerina dancer?
JK: (laughs) OK, I'm a pole dancer in it. But it's a really good movie. I play Jasmine and I get my heart ripped out by a vampire. It's the scariest scene in the movie.
2NR: Have you acted before?
JK: I played the role of Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame in a community play when I lived in Oregon.
2NR: Oregon? What were you doing up there?
JK: I'm from a military family. I moved a lot when I was young. I've also lived in Miami, Pensacola and Hawaii.
2NR: I hate to bring this up, but I'm sure everyone asks. How does someone who looks like you have the last name "Kowalsky?"
JK: I'm Japanese, Irish, and Polish. I know it's strange and I get a lot of wild guesses about what I am. Someone thought I was Indian once.
2NR: Not bad. Bollywood actresses are one of the hottest women in the world.
JK: I love Aishwarya Rai. Do you know her?
2NR: Of course. She's a former Miss Universe and rated one of the most beautiful women in the world. Do you look up to other beautiful women a lot?
JK: Yes, especially Josie Maran. I love her so much. That girl would turn me bisexual.
2NR: That's what I like to hear and will now fantasize about.
JK: She goes out with David Blaine. I'm still trying to figure out how he does all his magic.
2NR: He's the freakin' devil that's why.
JK: I am the devil. I have a pitchfork at home, and I hide my horns in public.
2NR: Satanism will now be my primary religion. Since you're a hapa (half Asian, half White), I have a friend who is absolutely infatuated with hapas. Can you give him some advice on how he can pick you up?
JK: Be funny and make me laugh. And don't be afraid to speak your mind. As far as looks, I like my men to wear simple stuff. Nice jeans and a shirt. I don't like those weird outfits guys in L.A. are starting to wear, with tight jeans and open collar blouse shirts.
2NR: "You know where you got that shirt from. It sure as hell wasn't in the men's department!"
JK: Oh my god! I know that line. I love the Chappelle Show!
2NR: What was your favorite skit?
JK: I love all the stories with Charlie Murphy and when he did the R. Kelly video, "Piss on You."
2NR: Classic! Do you know how to speak Japanese?
JK: Yes. That's all my mother spoke. My family lives in Sendai, Japan, and I used to visit them all the time. They live on a mountain called Obara, and my grandmother is a descendant of a samurai, and she once told me the story of how they ended up in Obara. The samurai helped lead some samurai war back when he was in Kyoto and they lost. So he fled to Obara.
2NR: So you're of samurai blood. Amazing. I just finished watching Seven Samurai, the legendary samurai flick from the '50s.
JK: Is that like The Last Samurai? That was the dumbest movie I've seen because Tom Cruise was in it.
2NR: Hell no. I hated that movie, too. What's next? Make a movie called The Last Black Man on Earth, starring Tom Hanks?
JK: (laughs) That line is from the Chappelle Show, too! I love him and Eddie Griffin. I wish could do my own comedy skit show.
2NR: You can do it on a Podcast.
JK: What's a Podcast? I'm so behind the times. I didn't even know what an iPod was until recently. I feel like a caveman. I don't use all these futuristic ipzods and zipods. I'm old fashioned.
2NR: Do you know what a CD is or are you still on vinyl?
JK: Don't make me reach over this table and smack you.
2NR: Just checking. So what's your ultimate goal in life?
JK: I am a confused person and have been asking myself that lately. I am good at singing and I love it, which is why I am at the studio all the time. Yet, I want to act as well and model. I just want to make a name for myself.
2NR: So you want the attention. The fame over the fortune?
JK: Yes. I figure, I will not have looks forever so I must make use of it so when I'm old and ugly wearing my adult diapers and dentures, I can tell my grandkids that I used to be quite the hottie.
2NR: I'm sure you'll still be hot when you're old. Any parting words before we start singing karaoke? Would you like to thank anyone?
JK: I don't know. Can you make something up?
2NR: Sure. I'll write something like, "I'd like to thank my family, my friends and especially Roel for being such a pimp and cool guy."
JK: Awesome! But you should change the last part to "for being a cheap date and making me pick up the tab."
Janis KowalskyModel: Janis KowalskyBorn: 09/12/80Lives in: Las Vegas, NVEyes: HazelAge: 25Height: 5'5" Measurements: 34C-24-35Ethnicity: Japanese/Irish/PolishLikes guys who are: Funny, can make me laugh, and who are not afraid to speak their mindHates guys who are: Hypocrites and can't think for themselvesWeb site: www.janiskowalsky.net