Teresa Noreen is cool; I mean that both metaphorically and physically. We're in Malibu and the warmth of the day is quickly dissipating with the setting of the sun. I'm in jeans, a tee, and a jacket, and I'm freezing. Yet standing in front of the R34 is Teresa, posing like a pro in all of her 5-foot-6-inch goodness wearing next to nothing. Our photographer, Aaron, gets up to reposition a light, and Teresa coils up, chattering with cold. But unlike dozens of other divas (read: models), she doesn't complain. Not a once. Past girlfriends have screamed bloody murder when I've tried to turn down the excessive heat on a cold winter day.
If that isn't cool enough, Teresa is into cars, prefers a turbo kit to a body kit, was in the Air Force, is a self-proclaimed "Dweeb Goddess," and prefers Star Trek to, gasp, Star Wars. Not everyone is perfect.
So you work on cars?
Yes. I know that is unexpected, but I enjoy working on cars. I am a logically minded female, and I enjoy working on mechanical objects.
What kind of stuff can you do?
Light maintenance is all I have ever really tried to do myself. The cost of special tools for anything else is outrageous. I usually pay guys to do most of the dirty work. I can car talk all day long with the guys though; I know a lot about cars.
What kind of cars are you into?
Cars that are fast that don't advertise it. For me, it's all about subtlety. I'd rather see a car tuned with $2,000 worth of forced induction than weighed down with a $2,000 body kit.
I usually glance at the make and model first. Then, it may sound silly, but I check out the brakes. A car needs to be built with every detail in mind. If the owner has tuned his car to perform at twice the legal freeway speed limit, but hasn't paid attention to the braking system, then he's all go and no whoa. I'm the type of girl who wants all the details to be covered!
Your favorite car?
The Japanese performance brand Mazda is my favorite, but don't expect to catch me drifting my '08 MX-5.
What did you think of the blue R34 GT-R?
I thought it was a hot car, and I am sad I didn't get to try it out on the track.
Ever tried drifting?
No, but I would love to try it some day. Does anyone know if Mazda is looking for a female drifter?
I heard that you're a bit of a lead foot?
If any cops are reading this, no, but if they aren't, yes. I like racing sometimes, especially when I had my Volkswagen R32. I usually don't go overboard, but I love putting my cars through their paces on occasion.
Fastest you've gone?
I hit 130 mph in a family member's SAAB 9-5 Aero. I couldn't help it. There was a lonely, straight, flat road in Utah begging to be played with.
Worst traffic violation?
Failure to yield. Not getting caught is an art form I've tried to perfect. [Laughs]
Any other tomboy-ish attributes?
Too many to list! But here is a quick rundown: Cars, computers, fishing, hiking, forklift driving, video games, and going to car shows.
With the exception of, uh, forklift driving, me too! I hear you're a closet geek; explain.
Am I in the closet? I didn't realize. I am definitely a geek though. You don't get the nickname "Dweeb Goddess" for nothing. It comes from my online presence, mostly MySpace, when I used to blog to my friends about avoiding the latest malicious code that social networking sites dealt with in their infancy.
Star Wars or Star Trek?
Star Trek all the way baby!
Trek over Wars? Boo! In a battle of pointy ears who would win, Spock or Yoda?
Spock, for sure. But you forgot to ask about T'pol! She would kick both their butts.
T'pol? Is that a hip-hop artist? Regardless, Yoda would totally take on the Enterprise, and win! Besides obscure Star Trek characters, the one sci-fi character you'd like to meet?
Rogue, so I can abduct her and take her place in the world of X-Men!
Heard you like to get high. You were in the Air Force?
Yep, I was enlisted for four years and stationed at Dover AFB, Delaware. Unfortunately, I was grounded the whole time, so no, I didn't get too high! I worked cargo processing driving forklifts, building pallets of cargo, and then I worked Fleet Services loading the aircraft with supplies and dispatching crews on the flight line for the rest of my enlistment.
Explains the forklift hobby. What is the Senior Airman Below the Zone award you earned?
It is brownie points given to suck-ups like me! Well not really...you have to work really hard, do a bunch of extra stuff like donate your time to good, causes and be recognized by people in power. Then you get to "tack on" your third stripe six months before everyone else and get the extra pay that goes along with it.
Member of the mile high club?
I've flown into Denver, does that count?
No, but I can, like, totally help you get in. In Top Gun: Maverick, Iceman, Goose, or Charlie?
Iceman, I had a thing for Val Kilmer at the time.
What does it take for a guy to get you in the, uh, danger zone?
Well I could go into all the crap most girls say like humor, intelligence, honesty, blah blah blah, but I won't bore you with all that jazz. There is only one thing I really look for in a guy and that is a connection that you feel on a deeper level, like you have known that person for a long time even if you have just met. A cute butt doesn't hurt either!
Any other favorite flicks?
The Princess Bride, Matrix, Lord of the Rings, Dogma, and most other sci-fi, action, and comedy movies.
Updating my websites. Going to casting calls and shopping on Zappos.com. I like to read. I used to have time for other hobbies like car shows, video games, architecture, crafts, and riding bikes, before I became an Internet addict. Ah, the good ol' days.
Let's play a game of firsts: First memory, ever?
Taking my first steps and then falling into the coffee table where I put my front teeth through my bottom lip. Not a pleasant memory, I must say.
Slobbery and quite awful, thankfully it didn't last long. My big lips must have been too much for him to handle.
First time in bed?
Didn't do it in a bed the first time. I will leave the rest to your overactive imagination.
Drool. First modeling gig?
Holiday buyer's guide for TomsHardware.com. I modeled as Santa's helper and as the character Antonia Bayle. The images are still online if you look hard enough.
First TV appearance?
G4TV interviewed me while I was working at an HIN show in DC. You can still see the interview on my YouTube page.www.youtube.com/teresanoreen
First film appearance?
I am in the Happy Madison Production of House Bunny, with Anna Faris. I am one of the hot chicks in the Playboy Mansion birthday party scene. I am wearing purple. See if you can spot me.
Oh, I will. First time on a plane?
I flew to Baltimore to see my sister Jodi. Yes, I have sisters, four of them actually. Airports can be really scary and overwhelming when you grew up out in the backwoods of Washington state.
First time you moved out of home?
When I went to college at Washington State University. That was also the first time I ever drove in a large city. Scary shit! Going down a one-way street the wrong way is something I have tried to avoid since then...
First time you got suspended from school?
Didn't I tell you that I'm a brown-noser? I never got suspended; I just batted my eyelashes and got out of trouble. [Laughs] If they actually suspended people at my school, I never heard about it. They wouldn't have enough kids left in class if they did that. My graduating class was only 14 kids.
First thing you'd do on summer vacation?
Head off to the nude beach.
First MySpace friend after Tom?
A friend who recommended the site to me, Noosh, a fellow car girl and co-owner of the Southeast-based car club Drty Dbs.
First album you bought?
Poison on cassette.
First DVD you bought?
The Hunt for Red October
First video game you beat?
Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo.
Nancy Drew. I was in the fourth grade.
A boy named Mark in the sixth grade.
Finally, and most importantly, first lesbian experience?
Maybe we should leave such an interesting question for the next interview. Until then, your readers can wonder if it's already happened, is going to happen, or will never happen. After all, there's the old maxim in showbiz: "Always leave 'em wanting more."