I'm not a big fan of fusion food, particularly Asian. In my opinion, cuisine should stay Oriental or European, not both. By mixing cultures, you end up with food that's funky tasting, about as authentic as a Luis Vuitton bag from Hong Kong, and taste buds more confused than Ryan Seacrest after a private screening of Milk. Take fusion pasta--sorry, demented chef who thought that was clever: Asians have noodles, Italians have pasta. Just because you throw bamboo dcor in a pseudo-trendy restaurant and hand out fortune cookies at the end of the meal, doesn't mean soy sauce and fettuccine go together. I mean, I really like Kimchee, but you won't see me smothering it like sauerkraut on a bratwurst. That's like playing food god--an evil, cultural-line-crossing one at that.
But the anti-cross pollination ends with food. People on the other hand, I'm all for. Hapas--half White and half Asian--make for some of the sexiest humans on the planet. One merely needs to Google Nicole Scherzinger, Vanessa Hudgens, or Olivia Munn. They're all hapas and all hotter than nuclear fusion. Want another? What about Christina Ashleigh? Half Korean and half a-whole-bunch-of-other-stuff, she's an exotic culmination that only comes with the mixing of two cultures--an amazing amalgam that proves homogenous homo sapiens are comparatively ho-hum. Hailing from Hotlanta, GA, after one glance at the hybrid beauty, we knew we had to fly Christina into our studio in L.A. It's a good thing too, because for airfare and lunch, we got Christina to spill the beans on where you can find hot videos of her for free on the Internet, how you can be her first-ever boyfriend, whale penis, and how she almost got me to sleep with her. Seriously.
You have an unusual Myspace page name (myspace.com/pockysticks). Explain.
Well, you have to remember, I signed up back when I was like, 15. When I was creating an account, I was munching on one of my all time favorite candy food items: Pocky Sticks! To hell with cool names, I'm one of those "right here, right now" kind of people. So, long story short, "Munch, munch...mmm Pocky." End of story. [laughs]
Thin, phallic-shaped Japanese crackers dipped in choclatey goodness? Yum! Do you like other Asian food?
Are you kidding? I'm pretty much half junk food, half Korean. It's what keeps the sheer hotness going. [laughs]
Do you indulge your Eastern half and eat Korean food?
Uh, yeah. Like that really stinky, gross-smelling stuff my friends love to make fun of? Kimchee? That shit is good! I'll eat it straight up; don't even need rice.
Gangster. Can you cook?
I hate cooking. Sorry guys. I'd rather eat it raw. I'm so Asian, right? But I do make a ridiculously good salad--gourmet style with all the trimmings and my homemade dressing: a signature honey balsamic. Best damn salad you'll ever eat, guaranteed.
Salad? Thank you, but I'll pass. Can you speak any other languages?
Kinda, but not really. I took some French and visited France because of my French-Canadian heritage, so I know just enough to get around. Vouslez vous coucher avec moi ce soi.
Of course! But not till after we're done with the interview. Teach me something else naughty in French...
Escargot. Sounds sexy. Would you like me to whisper that in your ear?
Buttery land snails? Talk about mood killer. You say that you moved around a lot? Why?
I grew up as an Army brat... you can say that I was born to be a badass! [laughs]
How strict was your father, growing up?
Pretty strict, but I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for him. I look up to my father a lot--I love him. Hooah!
Was it hard having boyfriends with an Army dad?
That's the one question I dread because it requires further "interrogative" questioning, like the one you're about to ask. But before we go there, to answer your question, I've had zero.
Zero? So are you like the 20-year old virgin?
Sounds way hotter than the 40-year old virgin. I think I would fulfill many a man's dream by saying, "yes." But let's just say, I haven't been much of a relationship person. I'll leave the rest up to your pervo-now drooling imaginations.
It's running wilder than a feral wolverine. Why haven't you had a boyfriend? Haven't met the right man?
Pretty much, or more so because I have met someone but it's just my luck he doesn't live anywhere near me--it's so frustrating because for once, I feel like we had a connection. I'll have to become rich and famous to pay my way to visit often. Sugar mama in the making.
So it wasn't just me! Don't worry; we're only 3,000 miles apart. Plus, my cell phone has free nationwide long distance.
Um, I was totally kidding... unless you're not.
[More awkward silence]
OK, so enough about us, what would a guy need to qualify to be your "first"?
I'm really all about the connection. It's like when you meet that person, there's just that "wow" factor, as if something outer-worldly just happened. They have to be on my level as far as thinking goes and be able to catch my drift, you know? Hell, if they knew how to drift, that'd be friggin' sweet, too. It's not all about the looks, either. In fact, if he were good looking, I'd rather him not care too much about it. He's got to be confident and love music--if he plays, it's a plus. He also has to be down to earth. [laughs] I'm just ridiculously picky. I know what I want.
You mentioned drifting. Is that something you're into?
I love drifting and I love fast cars. It's exciting watching a car go fast and turn last minute with tires smoking. I would love to learn how to drift. All I need is someone to teach me.
I hear that you're on hotforflix.com--what is that? A porn site?
Porn site? You wish.
Drats! So, what is it?
The site does have hot girls, including me as the main host, but it's for honest movie reviews. I'm also one of the executive producers of the site. Hotforflix is where members can upload their videos for a chance to be "a star"--as in, once we reach a million members we'll give out $10,000 to the best original video as voted on by the members . . . and I'll send you my sex tape!
[laughs] All kidding aside, the $10K is a real deal, though. It's a really cool and fun interactive place to check out. In the future, I hope to grow it into a YouTube/American Idol hybrid.
Were you into movies before the site?
Didn't I just say I'm the Executive Producer of the site? Really though, I love movies and if anyone out there, ahem, directors, wants to use me as an actress, I'll be more than happy to be your muse.
Nice plug. Must have missed the "Place Your Business Here" sign.
What's your favorite flick of all time?
Pulp fuckin' Fiction. Best movie, ever.
Good choice! Worst film?
Catwoman. Yeah, Halle Berry is hot shit in it, but I don't even want to talk about it. Me was in ow after watching it. Corny, I know, but not worse than the movie.
You get 10 points for the awesome use of pun/animal onomatopoeia. What actor gets you all steamy?
Johnny Depp. I know, I'm being such a typical girl, but he's awesome on screen. Captain Jack Sparrow really turned me on. Hot, hot, hot!
How about an actress that gets you all hot and bothered?
Uma Thurman. Hotter than hell.
If you were to make a movie about your life, what kind would it be--drama, comedy, action, etc?
It would be a comedic-action movie. I love the fast-paced badass vibe that action movies give, and the comedic portion would be dedicated to my everyday humor. I'm a silly, goofy, dorky person, and by dork, I'm talking major "whale penis."
Huh? How'd you know? Should've worn looser pants. Kidding. Maybe. If you were to pick an actress to play you in your movie, who would it be?
Myself. Who could play me better than me? It's genius.
Besides movies, what else are you into?
Even though I can't read music, I truly enjoy playing music on the piano. I create my own music or I play it by ear. You should see me compose a piece. It's like Vidal Sasoon stopped by and gave me Mozart hair. Crazy. I love Brook Trout fishing. I also like reading up on quantum physics and The Prophet. I'm huge into the whole Ying and Yang and 11:11 thing. Nature is my first love.
Since you're half Asian, let's play a game: How Asian Are You?
True or False: I am very good at math.
False. Anyone who asks me why not, I tell them to please remember kindly that I'm only half Asian.
You've already answered this, but do you play the piano?
Yes, and I love it.
Rice or bread? Why?
Oh my god, rice! There's just a whole ton more to eat! You can make steamed rice, fried rice, rice candy, rice ice cream, rice milk, rice Bubba Gump shrimp...
Got it. Super Mario: Italian deli or 8-bit superstar?
I just like saying "It's a me--a Mario!" and the character Yoshi. Don't think I answered your question.
Don't worry, you did. True or False: Uncooked fish can be an appetizing meal.
I'll eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Midnight snack, too. Sashimi style!
Have you owned any Sanrio stationary products?
No? What's that?
Wow. That ought to be minus 12 points. Moving on, soy sauce or ketchup?
Soy sauce `cause I like it sauce-aaaay!
Do you own an imported car?
Yep! Doris, my Infiniti I30.
True of False: When consuming rice, I prefer the use of a fork.
I enjoy inhaling my rice like a vacuum cleaner, so no chopsticks.
Do you have an interest in martial arts?
When I was younger I was such a tomboy. I made forts, climbed to the very tops of trees, hated dresses, didn't like showers, and I even got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do in the fourth grade. I would kick the shit out of mean boys who teased me. But I'm nice now... or maybe?
I say naughty. And despite the fact that you don't know what Sanrio is, according to our quiz, 80% Asian! Time for a DNA test.
Ethnicity: Half Korean and half Native American, Italian, and French
Birthday: May 28th
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
Thanks: To my father and my family for supporting me; my roommate Ron Patton, makeup artist Nancy Hancock as well as videographer Jim Ross who all work with me on HotForFlix; and Andrew Pae, the most awesome and talented musician, as well as his family Hillary Green Pae and Chris who graciously hosted me for my stay in California.