Joystick jabbers, rejoice! After months of feverish waiting, the holidays are here, and you know what that means: 'Tis the season to be jolly! Happily, nothing brings a smile to gamers' faces (or says "peace on Earth and goodwill to mankind") quite like lobbing heat-seeking missiles at trash-talking siblings or shoving a shotgun barrel up buddies' behinds. Case in point: The following blockbuster titles, each of which makes a perfect stocking stuffer for that special dweeb in your life. All ship with our seal of approval, if not vital accessories, e.g. super-size bags of Doritos and your own personal catheter.
Guitar Hero III
For: PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3,Wii, Xbox 360
From: RedOctane, www.redoctane.com
Dubious at the thought of jamming along in time on wireless Gibson guitar controllers to chart-topping hits including Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" or Smashing Pumpkins' "Cherub Rock?" All it takes is 10 minutes to get in the groove and see why the ultimate headbanger's ball has become a best-selling worldwide sensation.
Rock Band
For: PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360
From: Electronic Arts, www.ea.com
Never mind that when it comes to actual musical talent, you're less Metallica and more Milli Vanilli. Offering tone-deaf geeks the option to play guitar, bass and drums or belt out dozens of songs like Faith No More's "Epic" or Radiohead's "Creep," this ambitious virtuoso lets anyone play American Idol.
Unreal Tournament III
For: PC, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360
From: Midway, www.midway.com
The leading choice for ball-busting, in-your-face mayhem goes straight for the kill yet again, letting you plow a bloody swath through adversaries using bio-rifle, rocket launcher, tank or robotic walker. Play for ultra-visceral firefights, stay for addictive online multiplayer action: Last one behind cover's a crimson stain on the wall!
Mass Effect
For: Xbox 360
From: Microsoft, www.microsoft.com
Going beyond even developer BioWare's prior award-winning epics, e.g. Jade Empire and Star Wars: KOTOR, this sci-fi role-player extraordinaire blasts off into a fully-realized realm of quirky characters, intense real-time battles and heartbreaking ethical dilemmas. Customize heroes with futuristic weapons and powers before exploring a living, breathing cosmos teeming with intrigue.
Assassin's Creed
For: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360
From: UbiSoft, www.ubisoft.com
Traveling back to 1191 AD, assume the role of medieval hitman Altair, who'll ply his trade throughout the bustling villages and castles of the Third Crusade. Even more dazzling than featured locales and acrobatics is the need to smartly interact with realistic crowds, which can both confound pursuers or blow your cover.
Super Mario Galaxy
For: Wii
From: Nintendo www.nintendo.com
The first man to make plumber's crack cool returns for his biggest adventure yet; this time spread across the entire universe. Sprint and bop your way through an epic run-n-jump romp, with motion-sensing controls and spherical worlds adding atmospheric charm. In short, chalk up another win for the Italian Stallion.