There are stark differences, however, between the six-speed manual transmission and the automatic setup. For one, automatics are for babies, and two, Acura blessed the manuals with a slew of suspension upgrades, most notably thicker stabilizer bars and a set of Brembo four-piston caliper disc brakes up front. We slipped into one of the six-speeds and sucked as much life out of the Bridgestones as we possibly could, but when we tried the automatic, it left us hankering for one of Maggie's pacifiers or a MILF. Either one would have helped us pass the time as we waited for the other journalists to get the hell out of our favorite model and let us scare the bejesus out of Acura again.
The most innovative addition to the TL, however, lies not within the engine bay, the chassis, or even the trunk lid. Wedged firmly within the dash is a system unlike any your ears have witnessed before, outside the time you paid George Lucas' private ranch a visit. A premium Acura/ELS eight-speaker surround sound system with DVD-Audio, DTS, a six-disc CD changer, AM/FM tuner, and Dolby cassette player make driving the TL actually feel like you're piloting an IMAX movie theater. Our model was even affixed with the Acura Navigation System, which kept us from roving into the treacherous ghettos of Vancouver, which are notoriously filled with brutal hockey fans. On top of that, the XM Radio setup helped us feel ultra-fly as we bumped the Raw Hip Hop channel (61) with all windows down. We weren't popular enough to use the Acura HandsFreeLink system compatible with Bluetooth-equipped cellies, but we're pretty sure it's helpful for those who are. For example, you can call your grandma just by pushing a button on the steering wheel and saying, "Abuela, dial." Then listen to her voice as it's broadcast throughout all eight speakers during your conversation about the intricacies of the Louisiana Purchase. Well, maybe calling her isn't such a great idea if you want to stay awake at the wheel.
Overall, the '04 Acura TL is extremely comfortable and chock-full of over-the-top amenities for the finicky, feeds-the-cat-Sheba, near-luxury market. If you can spork up enough cash to make the payments, you'll bless yourself with a fantastic ride equipped with Matrix II-level technology.
If you can't, just drool over the horsepower numbers and consider going to college and majoring in anything but English.
The ELS Sound SystemThe Acura/ELS eight-speaker surround sound system is nothing short of an amazing experience thanks to DVD-Audio, a new music format that incorporates sound quality far outstepping regular stereo CDs. Acura queried Elliot Scheiner, a legend in the music world for producing Grammy-winning tunes, to donate a perfect listening experience for every TL driver. Elliot's been laying down tracks since the time your parents rioted against 'Nam, which of course means he has some amazing experience under his belt. Without his touch, the system wouldn't be called "ELS" (i.e., his name), or sound exactly like the master tapes the artists originally laid down in the studio. We can also look forward to a lot more DVD-Audio in the future thanks to companies such as Acura for taking the first bold steps to incorporate the format in a vehicle.