No one likes dirty lube. It's dark, clumpy, makes it hard for your pistons to pump... it's all kinds of messy nastiness. Enter the oil change; a must-perform maintenance that's as easy as it gets, yet for some reason very easy to neglect. Example: Our SRT4. Follow along as we have Will from DME change our overdue Project Neon's lube with some help from Amsoil synthetic and their action-packed Mechanics Lube kit. Lube of the booty-sort sold separately.
 1. After the car cools, remove...  1. After the car cools, remove the oil filler cap to allow for easy drainage, then raise your car. Since we have pals like Will we don't have to work off of jackstands and get our camera all soiled like the lube we're about to change. Notice the solemn look on Will's face. Easily mistaken for constipation, it is a quick prayer to the car gods. |  |  2. Loosen the drain plug with...  2. Loosen the drain plug with a 13mm wrench. Lucky for Will, his buff arms were able to loosen the tighter-than-a-virgin-midget drain plug some Quickee Lube joint impacted on the oil pan. Hint: Place drain pan forward of the plug to catch the draining fluid (it arcs like your pee). |
 3. Use a wrench like the one...  3. Use a wrench like the one from the Amsoil's Mechanics Lube kit to loosen the oil filter. This helps in the SRT4's case where it's hard to get a good grip on the filter with your hands alone. Watch for spilling oil. |  |  4. Like a Dirty Sanchez, make...  4. Like a Dirty Sanchez, make sure you lube the rim gasket of the new filter with oil. It also helps to pour some lube into the poop stink, aka the filter. Hand tighten the new oil filter until you feel tension and twist it a half revolution more. |
 |  5. Normally you'd replace...  5. Normally you'd replace the crush washer before replacing the oil drain plug but since the SRT4 has a built-in gasket, we just tightened it back up (although we shoulda replaced the whole damn thing). |  |
 6. Lower the car and fill...  6. Lower the car and fill it up with oil (check manual for capacity). Since our car was turbocharged, we went with Amsoil's European Car Formula specially developed to meet Europe's strict standards. Hey, if it can keep a VW or Audi's engine running on the road, it's good enough for us. | | |
Fun With Funnels
Too cheap to buy a funnel? Grab a roll of quarters, roll it into a fist and sock yourself in the head-hard. Cheapo! If you've lost/misplaced yours, here's a ghettofab way to make your own in a pinch-like all the pennys you've pinched that are weighing down your pocket.
 With a knife, scissor, boxcutter...  With a knife, scissor, boxcutter or your teeth, cut away at the bottom of an empty oil container. Hint: cut near the bottom, unless, like with girls, you're into the shallow thing. |  Voila! Instant funnel! Fill...  Voila! Instant funnel! Fill your oil sans the mess or better yet, mix up some batter, heat up the deep-fryer and make yourself a tasty funnel cake. | |