Hawley Smokes!

There’s no cupholder? I can’t drive this…

Ahh, pads and bars—reminds me of home.

And I’d like to thank my producer…

When I woke up at the crack of dawn to head to Frank Hawley’s NHRA Drag Racing School in La Verne, California, I had no idea what would be in store for me during the next two days. Fright, anxiety, and excitement were all rolled into one big emotional ball in the pit of my stomach. Sure, I’d been down the NHRA track in Pomona quite a few times, but never driving a Super Gas Pontiac Firebird. This wasn’t your typical bracket-racing, sissy daily driver that crawls down the quarter-mile track with 14-second timeslips. It was a 700hp, fully gutted, 509ci, V8-powered race car that posts 9-second quarter-mile passes with trap speeds of over 140 mph. Top that off with no power steering, a full rollcage, huge slicks, and a parachute. Aside from girls, there aren’t many things in life that can make me this nervous and confused. This car wasn’t exactly something I wanted to jump into right away, not without some guidance at least. Our small class of five students, dubbed The Furious 5 (some of whom flew in from as far away as Virginia), was fortunate enough to have Fast Jack Beckman as our instructor. (They call him Fast for a reason—maybe he’s a one-minute man—but that’s not our concern.) In his many years of drag racing, Jack has driven some of the fastest cars in the States and knows more drag racing trivia than I could have ever thought humanly possible. Be forewarned that not everyone who takes the NHRA class leaves with an NHRA license, but everyone does leave with increased knowledge in drag racing procedures and at least six runs on the track. It takes six successful passes in order for the instructor to sign for your license. This whole experience can be just as strenuous on the mind as it is on the body. Aside from driving and controlling the Super Gas Firebird, you must memorize numerous steps, procedures, and rules. With all the note taking, it’s just like Psychology 101—except you can’t cheat in this class.

So, after extensive classroom instruction, the time finally came to head down to the track. It took about 10 minutes to suit up in all the proper safety equipment and get strapped into the racing bucket seat. I thought the rest would be pretty easy—do a sick burnout, stage, rev up the car, wait for the green, and launch. But trust me, it’s not as simple as it sounds. In the split second that you release the transmission-lock button, you feel your stomach come up toward your throat and your eyes sink into your skull. It becomes obvious why a physical checkup is one of the school’s requirements. Once you pass the 200-foot mark, you feel a false sense of security for about another half second. That’s when the ATI Powerglide transmission shifts into Second gear and gives your body another shot of adrenaline. By the time you reach the 1,320-foot mark, the vehicle’s trap speed has far surpassed triple digits. Imagine getting on a freeway onramp and hitting 140 mph before it’s time to merge with traffic. Except there is no reason to imagine—it’s all real.

When you’re propelling down the track, nobody can tell you what to do or when to do it. Just like your “first time,” nobody is going to give you instructions and you can’t bring notes. That’s why after each run, everyone returns to the towers to watch a video critique of the runs. There’s no better way to correct your mistakes than to see them for yourself. If we had a camera filming our lives 24-7, we’d all probably make fewer mistakes in the future. (Of course, some of us might make even more.) Think of Frank Hawley’s Drag Racing School as your big brother, here to teach you what to do prior to hitting the track. The class takes two days out of your time, but what you learn is invaluable. After a few extra runs, I received authorization for my official NHRA drag racing license. In any drag racing event that falls under NHRA rules, such as NIRA, drivers cannot make passes faster than 10.00 seconds in the quarter-mile if they are not NHRA-licensed. This means I can officially and legally drive any of the Pro-class race cars. (See the Jan. ’02 issue to find out if the Players would let me make a few passes down the track in their cars.) If you’re serious about drag racing, then you’ll want to do it right—and Frank Hawley’s Drag Racing School does it right. East Coast racers, don’t worry about making a trip out to California to attend Frank Hawley’s class—Gainesville, Florida, has a Frank Hawley’s for you speed freaks, as well. For those in between, choose a coast—there’s only two in the country. Just call the toll-free number (888/901-7223) to get more info.