Bryan Weaver
When Weaver's not too busy test-driving Playboy Playmates at his swank bachelor pad, we're able to twist his arm into writing magazine copy. We fully expect Bryan to make something of himself in spite of his penchant for bowel-irritating fast-food, and malt liquor. In the near future, we foresee Weaver owning much nicer cars than those we get to test. We can only pray he'll look fondly upon the "little people" after law school, and be kind enough to dispense free legal advice, or maybe do one of us a solid by fighting that slander palimony or second divorce suit.
Dave Druse
After his promising singing career as "The Token Gringo" in Menudo was cut short by puberty, Dave became focused on band management. Dave is busy developing new ethnically minded, boy band prospects geared toward mall-dwelling, pre-teen tarts. Always on the vanguard, Dave's latest quartet, Curry Nation, features the song styling of the three Mustafa brothers from India, and their Pakistani cousin Jugdish. Dave has high hopes for Curry Nation's first single, "Pet My Cow" featuring the sitar riffs of Ravi Shankar.
Suzie Chung
Suzie's involved in emap's new hire orientation program. Ms. Chung instructs the newbies on how to properly hold a knife, in addition to leading the master's course on groin kicking. She learned long ago at Pol Pot Elementary in Garden Grove, California, that there is no surer way to stimey an unwelcome advance from a co-worker than a swift blow to the neck or the groin. Humbled and slithering co-workers approach Suzie at the water cooler begging to keep their teeth and the means to reproduce.
Gary Inman
Busy clinging to the slim hope that the entire "It's the Benny Hill Show" compilation will go to DVD, Gary keeps us in the loop about the scene across the pond. Lousy BBC programming, bleak weather, and poorly seasoned food can stretch a man's will. So, in his spare moments, Gary throws back ale with his mates, and enjoys a go at a session of Nude Cricket a straight to video sport that's taking the British Isles by storm.