The Usual Suspects

Richard S. Chang
Rich is busy building a multimedia empire based on the success of his highly lucrative film-production company, which has been keeping Skinamax knee-deep in poorly written soft-core porn for years. In order to get the shoddy production values the genre demands, the company films all of its movies in Tijuana, and all movie plots are derived via computer. Any actor or actress with previous film experience is automatically rejected, and an inability to speak fluent English is encouraged.

Tyrone Rodriguez
This month, Tyrone brings you enticing first glimpses of Gran Turismo Concept and Automodellista, two racing games that will change life as we know it. In order to get this info he had to go undercover, deep into the seedy world of video game manufacturers, sleeping in his own filth, living off coffee and donuts. His code name was "Lil' Buddy," and he could only communicate with us via phone, e-mail, and FedEx. But his hard work paid off, as you will no doubt agree. And if you don't agree, there's nothing we can do about it.

Isabel Hidalgo
If you've read the New Products section, then you've read the words of Isabel Hidalgo. She is currently in negotiations to take New Products to full-length-novel format and is also fielding offers to turn the section into an ongoing television series. Is she phased by the success of New Products? Has it changed her now that she takes a limo everywhere she goes and she's recognized in public whenever she steps outside? Yes, Isabel doesn't talk to us anymore. Actually, if we were her, we wouldn't talk to us either.

Wesley Allison
What can be said about Wes that the world doesn't already know? His personal and social exploits have been splashed across the pages of every tabloid and scandal rag in existence. Remember the time Bea Arthur birthed his love child? Or the time he was arrested for shoplifting an issue of Juggs? The highs, the lows, the ups, the downs, the weight gain, the weight loss-the world's been there every step of the way, heckling, crying, and sometimes applauding. And of course, how can we forget the very public disclosure of Wes' sexual relations with the President. We don't know about you, but Wes is our hero.